But it's not so bad, You're only the best I ever had

sometimes i really feel so down. and other times, i say "my life is so damn good (:"
how contradicting huh. i think so too.
and now, actually there isnt anything for me to be sad about.
but i just feel sad.
its weird.
no, im weird.

skipped school again today. i dont know why. but well, i just didnt go to school. went down to jj just now. met alot of fairsians. went to jurong point with xinyi, amanda, their friend, kengheng and esmonde.

kengheng and esmonde and i had lunch at mosburger. it was a really good time i must say. panpan's my jollybean. hah.

those two are having hockey training now. and im wondering why im on the com, no, why am i even home. i could be at bugis with amanda and wanqi. i could be meeting amanda at island creamery. and yet, theres this heaviness in my heart. i dont want to be anywhere else but home. but yet. i dont even feel like being home. i dont know why. i just dont feel right. maybe i should just get out and go for a walk.

or maybe i just need another five minutes. or i just need to cry.

-

i want the next two months to fly past real quick. i need to get away from this stress. its killing me.

ive never been this stressed my whole life. i have never even felt stressed before. and now this stress is really crushing me. have i expected myself to be so crushed by something that i love so much? i can say with utmost certainty, no.

im still learning to deal with it. but many times had this thought came into my mind. why am i putting myself thru this? its like torture. it sucks. its so stressful that i cried so much over it. i hate having to go thru this routine. i feel like such a dumb loser. i really really do not like it.

maybe its just me, me and myself feeling this way.


ohwell, this thing aside.
one thing for sure, i have wonderful, marvellous, fantastic, awesome, great, terrific, extraordinary friends (:

; stars can stumble from the blue