More than Words.



i love the way you play the guitar and the way you sing. you said "eh i play you a song" and more than words was what you played and sang for me yesterday. all the while, i just looked at you and wondered how is it that you're so good-looking and charming. and i wondered how is it possible that a guy like you loves me. i don't ever think i deserve someone so good or who loves me the way you do. or simply, i dont think i deserve you. you're too perfect for me.

i came back home and looked through the lyrics of more than words. and some thoughts struck me. and i guess the lyrics kinda expressed how you felt recently.. and i guess i still am apologetic for everything. the guilt still lingers around.

and they say "you better treasure him. start now" , "you'll regret if you lose him, dont wait till its too late" , "he's so nice to you, can you stop being so damn bad to him" , "you're such an idiot" , "tsk kim, why you like that", "woah you're damn bad lah, stop making him sad can"

i cant imagine how it's like being with me. i bet its torturous. i've always been the bad guy. i dont wanna be the bad guy anymore. i dont wanna make you upset anymore. the countless times i've made you sad, i'm sorry for all that.

"you've gotta treat him better from now on. if not, there's no point. you might as well spare him the sorrows and let him go"

i'll bear that in mind.

nothing's ever gonna be the same as i've always said. they're either gonna be better or worse. i'm making sure that things are gonna be better this time round.

but for now, i feel like being MIA for a day and having me-time somewhere where i wont see any familiar faces over a cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows. it helps me sort out my thoughts and emotions and it clears my mind, especially when it takes me a long time to figure out how i'm really actually feeling. i need to sit down and think, and reflect.

i've made enough mistakes, no more.