Hostage to thoughts of you

HAHAH shit. my precious alliance said that im not nice enough to her. and i should write her seven letters, one for each day of the week cause i told her bout my letter plan. HAHAH. no wayyyy!

i stayed home the whole of today. couldnt sleep very well last night zzz. woke up at like every hour. wasnt feeling too good in the afternoon so i forced myself to sleep. sleeping's the best remedy (:

AND OMG JEAN NG WAS ON TEEVEE JUST NOW. HAHAH i received christinas message and sprung out of bed and glued my eyes to the tv for like 15 minutes. ahh my love :D

and ohyes i think my oh-gee-elle ass-ass-pee shirt idea is very cool HAHAH.

last night i was up till very late. like four am? hahah and i was reading through some old messages and was smiling to myself. and i suddenly missed four people alotttt. KC, JEWEL, BUCKET AND BOWL. i think only like maybe two of you read my blog but still.. i have some stuff to say to yall i guess. anyway, nice nicknames right. HAHAH.

KC! hmm firstly.. SORRY FOR HOW I TREATED YOU IN SEC TWO HAHAHAHA I HOPE YOU DINT BEAR ANY GRUDGES AGAINST ME. HAHAAH. those were the days man. hahah. anyway, im really glad we became like super close. i cant really remember how and why we started talking again. but thanks for being so so very nice to me. hahah. i read through the messages and i realised like you reassured me many times and you were always always there for me. hahah thanks for like accompanying me to school via messaging at like 6plus am although you dint have to go to school. for coming down to kap to pass me my present. for even searching for my present. hahah. and for cycling to school when i have netball camp to pass me cupnoodles at 1am HAHAH. i climbed down the second floor parapet thing. if i fall i die know. hahah. okay whatever. its not bout me. hahah. and shit you. i remember on the morning of my bio o's paper, you called at 2am and we talked for like 1 hour plus. in the end i was so tired i dint study for my paper. HAHAH. okay fine. not really your fault. you know i recalled how much you love to eat chicken and macwings, i couldnt stop laughing. HAHAHHA. i swear youre one big joke. and like i remember meeting you at like 4 am at the super ulu stretch of road. omg you suck i was so damn mother scared! hahah theres so so much things for me to laugh about. and i remember you made me cry twice! ): hahah. but ultimately, i really thank God for you. really really. i hope youre doing well (:

JEWEL! hahah my amazing jewel who says that he will run to wherever i am to save me if ever i run into any trouble. HAHAH. hello jewel tiannnn [: youre really one big ass retard. hahah but you've been really really wonderful. thanks for sticking by me and never abandoning me though i was such a wreck. thanks for helping me through my lowest (: i remember how we used to emo together and how we laugh at every single thing. and i remember how you always talk bout your retarded bear when its not even cute! hahah. and your super small and straight teeth HAHAH. please stop playing soccer so much and even if you do play alot still, please dont injure yourself okay! i miss your spastic smileeee. AND YOU STILL HAVE TO PRINT RAYNA THE BIRTHDAY THING. HAHAH omg, late for what four months already! TSK. hahah. lets go out soon okay. havent seen you in quite awhile already. hahah. my crazy ass bestfriend, thanks for everything (: diamond loves you many many [:

BUCKET! HAHAH remember how bowl bucket and bottle came about? i really miss the times when the three of us hang out together last time. everytime im with the two of you, i feel really happy. cause i can never stop laughing and smiling. especially when bowl is sucha freaking retard. hahah i remember us laughing till we were almost rolling on the floor and all bowl did was giggle. HAHAH shit i miss us alot actually. although we dont hang out in a trio anymore, its okay. bestfriend, i know we havent been talking much and we've always been talking bout going out and catching up but it never really happened. buttt, i hope youre doing well okay. and please do not think too much and make yourself confused over nothing okay! hahah youre one of the craziest person i know. and thanks for being there for me when i was an emo piece of shit. hahha. i remember your super smelly kenzo and how you always go on and on nonstop bout everything. hahah. i remember the times when we had to secretly hang out. hahah and i remember us playing the darts and yall throwing me off the chair and pinning me under it! assholes! hahah ah. i miss those times. hahah. be happy okay :D

BOWL! hey, though like we dont talk anymore after all the shit and all. but honestly, i was really shocked but rather touched when you messaged me that time. i really really miss hanging out with you and bucket. how we go over to each others place for dinner and staying out late and stuff. hah your sleepwalking stories never fail to make me laugh whenever i think bout them, or tell my friends bout them. hahah i remember always making fun of your hair, and how gay you are. hahha and all the retarded things you do. the way you laugh and giggle or try to act serious. hahahha. and i miss all the late night suppers. and even the stayover at bucket's place. i remember how you always say DONT CARE and in the end you care so much. you really bring joy to peoples lives and even if youre sad, you try your hardest not to show it. i remember how you always fart and how you slap people. hahah. all your stupid antics. i really do miss them. i remember how you slap your forehead and how bucket and you always bully me. hah i miss laughing at you. and just everything. well. i hope youre happy whatever youre doing now. (:

and theres one person whom i have alot to say to. but i know i'll never say these things to him. hmm. but i really feel damn asshole bout this whole thing when i think bout it. to this really special person, thanks for being by me all the while, standing up for me and protecting me and everything. sorry for hurting you so badly last time. i guess.. i dont know. im sorry. and thanks for everything, every single thing you've done for me. being all so concerned bout my dislocated toe, buying me all the candies chocolates and stuff, taking notice of everything that i like, taking note of the songs that i like and burning me a cd with all my favourite songs, being happy and sad with me, texting me everyday just to make sure im fine, showering me with so so much concern, and accompanying me wherever i wanna go. for staying up late to talk to me, for writing me all the letters and always telling me how important i am. for every reassurance and all. thank you. you really are the best. and i guess i kinda ruined this whole friendship. im really sorry for tearing up one of the letters right in your face, for making you cry, for saying hurtful stuff, for neglecting you, for everything bad ive done. i dont expect much, i know i screwed up. but im glad that at least we're still pretty okay friends now. and i was really happy when you texted me "hey, lets hang out more okay. kinda miss you (:" i wish i hadnt done all the shit that i did. but i guess theres no room for regrets. whatever it is, thanks for everything okay, really. see you soon (:

ah. i dont know if im feeling happy or sad. hahah. and, theres something on my mind constantly and i guess its slowly getting to me. hur. sucks. im losing hope.

TAG REPLIES:

> DENISE! hahah YAH LAH WHAT MISS SINGAPORE ! hahah its okay, i got owned by all my papers. its alright we are the oh-gee-elle ass-ass-pee gang! hahah (: anddd why you go switch! hahah dont wanna get a lj lah. damn troublesome. hahah how bout you get blogger and we can be blogspot friends! hahah!

> LEON! yes, five minutes and it never happened! (: hahah. AND YES I REMEMBER. YOU used to buy icemountain for me when i had sorethroat! happy now! i credited you! hahah (:

its been three days.