"nothing can ever be achieved without passion"

and i had to see this line today.

this sucks. no, i think its me who suck.

shoot me someone, i'll get you the gun.

I shouldn't love you, but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move
I can't look away

havent been in the best of moods these two days. and i seriously need some bubble tea to lighten me up.

know what, im a disappointment. i know i owe it to you guys, but i wanna quit, right now. im sorry i cant live up to those expectations. call me a failure, a loser or whatsoever.

i never thought i would be like this. i thought that i would be able to brave everything and achieve what is expected of me. but no, i was wrong about myself, just as all you guys were wrong about me. all i am actually is but a little weak ugly duckling.

i was never meant to achieve much i guess.

well.. what the hell is wrong with me? i lost that passion i once had. i dread going to school, im skipping trainings, im cutting lessons, skipping school, and everything else. i just wanna rot and sleep and just not care about anything. im pathetic, im freaking useless. why not say, i just suck. i definitely believe so.

know what best friend, you werent there for me when i needed you so much. but well, i guess this is how things will be? so much for i love you, so much for i'll always be there for you. i guess its all bullshit.

leon teh, i have endless things to say to you. i just really wanna thank you for standing by me all this while. caring and being there regardless of any shit. it isnt easy being a best friend to me i know, and you are one, ever so fervently. thank you, really. i know you will always always be there for me. thanks for assuring me, for caring and all. thanks.

> like as if you will ever care.

i think i need to chill the freak out.

im a born loser.

kim, you just suck.

now that i think about it, im so damnit pathetic.
im so freaking weak.
im damn useless.
i suck.
thats it.

> you can drop those attempts to hide. its way too clear now.

I can't explain this feeling
I think about it everyday
And even though we've moved on
It gets so hard to walk away

HELLO! i havent blogged for like a really long time. and im kinda lazy to talk about everything now.

wednesday was a school day. yeah was almost late. i ran to school lah, with hannah. hah. lessons were boring and i was so totally sleepy. brandy said hi at some point in time, and hes so cute (: someone asked me to take photo with him and i said no. i regretted like shit after that ): i had this really cute dream and i was really happy (: hah if only its real! okay, dreams... tahah. meeting with senior class was pretty okay, i still so dont like my class. as in i cant really click with them lah. they keep doing work, during breaks also do work. and i skipped chem lecture (: was with hannah and her class. her class is so damnit fun i tell you. thank you eileen and sherri for accompanying me (:

training later on. we trained for almost five hours unknowingly. shengyang was damn funny. cause i said hi to weijoe and i didn say hi to him. its cause weijoe said hi to me first what. and i didn see shengyang! then he said that im dao -_-" im not okay! hahah. DOUBLE HI to you.

thursday was pretty okay. i was nearly late again. lessons as usual. boring stuff. pe was like HUH SWIM PE. but we all didn bring costume. so we had to run like 1.8 km. hurry ran finish and left. took 92 and changed bus. its my second time taking 92. went thru someplace that was rather familiar. recalled alot of stuff. well, they dont bother me anymore (:

so yeah. went down for juniors match. they won (: great job there. yeah so then mel and i went to kap. bought some stuff and went back to fairfield. chatted with some of the cdiv till like 8 plus. a pretty fun time.

friday, i went to school at 1.30. HAHAH. only went for chem lecture. after that, was with manda wanqi and huishian. i ate so much that i nearly puked during training. dumplings, donut, wedges, noodles, tehbing. HAHAH. i ate 18 dumplings in 2 days lah. omygoodness. hahah. training was.. coach was in a damn bad mood. damn freaking scary lah. wahlao. makes me dont wanna join netball anymore.

i dont find it fun anymore already also.

dinner with PWEE yi, pamela, benice amelia and some badminton guys was pretty good. pamela is so motherly! hahah. and you know that PWEE yi, she spelled my name wrongly know. kimBERY. -_-" then pet kept calling me that. pangsai man. oh and i talked quite alot to sijay today! hahah hes so funny.

reached home past twelve. used com till 5 am. hahah.

saturday, woke up. used com. went out. met jack, nigel and their cell group at clementi. okay, which is my church people. bussed to town. met up with esmonde. oops, sorry im late. bought a roxy wallet (: yay. hahah. then went to taka to find jaclyn. cause she was working. then after that, went to swensens at crown prince. fish and chips (: then jaclyn came to find us. after a short while, she left us. cause we wanted to play pool.

we headed to paradigm. then yeah. we played bishi bashi again. we put in 10 cents and there was TWO credits. HAHAHAH. we spent less than 30 cents and we completed the game! HAHAH. i owned him again! YAY! tahah so pool was pretty fine. went back at like 12 plus. met wenjun at the bus stop. HAHAH hes so funny. bussed to clem. waited for the freaking 105 which didn come at 12.50. it came at like 1.10. and i didn take it cause i freaking already missed 334. so i was waiting for nr5. i missed one earlier on. and i waited 45 minutes for the next. i got so bored and irritated that i cabbed home. freak it.

and i didnt get this volcom belt that i wanted to. should i? im going shopping today (:

; just a little insight wont make it right

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you?
it's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
so tell me, why can't i breathe whenever i think about you