We used to shine so bright, But I watched all of it fade

hi all! its the twenty fifth! So, firstly, MERRY CHRISTMAS! [:

alright this is probably the longest post ever ever in my life. But well, when we were still together, I told myself that on Christmas I’ll do up this post as like a “2-year” thing. Although we aren’t together anymore, I just felt like since I already planned to do this, and had already been typing this post. So why not just post it up right. Haha. I doubt anyone will finish reading this. Cause its just insane haha.

haha the twenty fifth of every month used to be special. well, technically nicky and i were never together (although we always refer to each other as our boyfriend/girlfriend) cause i never said yes even though he asked me to be his girlfriend three times. with the first being in a long and sweet letter that he snucked into my bag and after he sent me home he said " i think i left something in your bag. like the place where you keep your keys. help me check?" at the end of the letter was "and finally, after all this time, will you be my girlfriend? (: hope to hear from you soon!" HAHA and i said no. that day was november 25th 2008, one day after i ended a's which was our 11^th month too.

before that, i was out with jiazhi celeste and all and i was supposed to collect my prom dress at the tailor at 1230. but in the end, i only got there at 4. when i collected my dress

me: how much is the dress?
auntie: oh, your brother paid already lo
then i was like ?!?!?! very shocked.
me: huh i dont have a brother
auntie: huh, that day the guy who came with you not your brother ah?
auntietwo: the one with the teeth bound together one leh (HAHAHAH)
me: oh.. no lah not my brother.
auntie: then your boyfriend right?
me: uhh..
auntie: i thought he's your brother. he came in the morning and paid for the dress already
me: oh... okay.

then i checked my phone

nicky: how's the dress?
me: why you pay for me..

so i was walking to the bus stop. when i heard footsteps running towards me from behind. but i didnt turn back. and then suddenly, some tall person hugged me from the back. hahah quite sweet i must say (: (: and then he refused to tell me what time he went to the tailor. then finally, he told me that he went at 1230. and i only got to the tailor at like 3 plus near 4. <: <:

the second time nicky asked me was when he ran from his place to my place. which is freaking farrr. like from a hill opposite coronation plaza to my place is insanely far, especially when he ran the bus route. HAHA if he didnt, i guess he would be lost. haha. i woke up to some loud knocking on my door at around 11 and saw him perspiring like crazy and i was shocked. haha. it was really sweet of him but once again, i said no.

the third time was when we were watching gossip girl, when it was really near the time he was gonna enlist and he asked and i said no again. haha

nicky and i started hanging out proper on the 10th oct 2007! haha it was the first time we went out. the night before, we were talking online till 430 / 530 am. and he kept hinting to me to ask him out, but this time, he asked me out in the end. haha. i skipped baccalaureate service while he went for it and left early! haha he waited at ps alone for me for one hour plus. haha and when i reached there he played hide and seek with me in carrefour but i totally won cause i found him in less than 10 seconds. hahaha. we caught a movie and hung out for abit before i left. and he texted me "hey. thanks for today yep. Heh., was one of the more fun days for me since a long time. still on the bus?" haha. and he started messaging almost everyday after that! I gave him Chinese tuition before a’s too haha. before christmas, his mum was performing for a christmas concert and he brought me there just to know that she finished performing already. haha and that was the first time i met his parents. haha we had a few suppers at adam road also. and nicky liked to switch slippers and walked in mine which were obviously damn small for him. haha and he always insisted on carrying my bag haha

so actually nicky and i kinda started on christmas 2 years back, when i met him at serene centre after i hung out with my friends to pass him his christmas present. he bought me 2 kitkatcookiedough hahaha. and i bought him starburst and i cant remember what. so we were talking and all and suddenly he hugged me and i was just like ?!?!? and we just stood there in silence for damn long and i was in shock... haha. he invited me to his birthday party but i didnt want to go and he kept persuading me to go. so i told him that i wasnt gonna go but i appeared for a short while later on with jaclyn. and then that night i went home and i was just thinking that actually, i dont wanna be with him. and he didnt text me at all after the party and i was like yeah! i shouldnt be with him. but turned out that actually he was dunked so he didnt have his phone and he got dead drunk after that. haha. but well i sent him a really long message telling him that i wanna end things. hahaha. and he replied me a really long message and it was so sweet i cried. cause like i didnt think that he really wanted to be with me and really liked me but well after the message, i had to believe. haha i didnt reply him and he messaged me again. And I still didn’t reply and he called me after that and talked things out with me and i was like.......... ERRRR. haha. but he was so sweet. that day was the 31st of december. at 12 midnight sharp he messaged me " And kim… I love you. Happy new year." and i just died. HAHAHA.

and to be honest. im probably the worst possible girlfriend on earth cause i really suck. like every month, i initiated a breakup at least once. so like for the whole 19 months, can you imagine how shit it was like? and some months there were more times. like i always cant be bothered to talk things out and i'll just like then break up lah. but he was always so nice and strong and persistent. Like trying really hard to talk things out with me, persuading me not to give up, making me stronger, believing that we can overcome everything and always coming all the way to find me even though i was clearly in the wrong.. every single time, nicky refused to let me go and held on to me so tightly and i was really touched cause i never thought anyone would love me this much. haha. i'm really an ass. i really admire nicky for being able to stand my nonsense and love me. cause im so unlovable really.


and as how we first met......

april 2008

nicky says:

its super super odd how i got to know u???????

nicky says:

stupid zhuan say i said u looked like a malay or smth like that

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

YEAH

nicky says:

but i honestly didnt!@#!@#!@#

nicky says:

it wasnt mE!@#!@#!@#

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

hhahah really?

nicky says:

I DIDNT!@!@#

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

SURE NOT

nicky says:

OH MY..

nicky says:

YES

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

HAHAH i shant believe you anyway

nicky says:

THATS WHY I WAS SO DEFENSIVE!!!.

nicky says:

WHAT!@#!@#!@#

nicky says:

then u started calling me hamster hair... !?@#?!?@?!?@ like no link!@#?!?@#?!@

nicky says:

then blah blah..

nicky says:

hahah but its funny though

may 2009

“me: woah! thats like a perfect love story!
him: huh really meh
me: yeah! how cool lah. so cute!
him: then us leh
me: huh
him: how we met?
me: oh my goodness. its retarded.
him: i remember! i remember you were sitting opposite my in the void deck .like two tables away. and you were like diagonally opposite me. then zhuan yi came and tell me that you call me hamster hair.
me: yeah! i dint! and you called me a malay when i dint even know you!
him: you called me hamster hair when i dint even know you also!
me: tsk. its your nickname what!
him: i thought you were quite cute then.
me: HUH. seriously. that was like the first time i saw you
him: yeah me also! and i found you cute.
me: youre retarded. blind ah.
him: no really i really think that you were damn cute.”

the retarded story of how zhuan and emma told me that nicky called me a malay in the voiddeck and how i called him hamster hair and how he thought i was quite pretty and cute and added me on friendster and msn and we started talking. and i called him a pandhi which is a pig in tamil. and he started calling me that too haha. He is super retarded… Haha. I’ll just show 1% of his retardedness here. And he’ll always copy my language. Like he used what the pong after I kept using it. and he called me pandhi kunasai. LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS THAT. haha

some parts from convos in march/april/may 2008

nicky=D says:

pandhi pandhi pandhi

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

hahaha pangsai man you! how can you use words that i use to scold you to scold me

nicky=D says:

why not!

nicky=D says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

cause its copyrighted!

nicky=D says:

no its no

nicky=D says:

not

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

IT IS!

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

kim's law

nicky=D says:

hahah

nicky=D says:

kim's law

nicky=D says:

pandhi law luh

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

under kim's law. nicky the hamster is found to be guilty. and is sentenced to life imprisonment

nicky=D says:

oh dear

nicky=D says:

what ever is he going to do!!!

nicky=D says:

find out next

nicky=D says:

in the episode of

nicky=D says:

pandhi's law

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

HAHAHHA

KIMBERLEY(: the cowboy kills the rock star, and friday night's gone too far says:

kim's law!

nicky=D says:

pandhi

-

nicky says:

unfortunately i dont take ART

KIMBERLEY(: when nights were clear, you were the first star that i'd see says:

FORTUNATELY FOR THE TEACHERS

nicky says:

if i did i'd like totally bring the whole singapore down with my art

KIMBERLEY(: when nights were clear, you were the first star that i'd see says:

yeah cause evryone will be down with sore eyes

nicky says:

haha

nicky says:

still brought them down

nicky says:

hahah

-

nicky says:

warm the fly

nicky says:

then the fly burst into flames

nicky says:

and u got firefly!!!

KIMBERLEY' says:

HAHAHAHHA

nicky says:

YAY

-

KIMBERLEY' says:

your pandhi brain needs some conditioning

KIMBERLEY' says:

HAHAHa

nicky says:

haha sigh how u know

nicky says:

he always pon pe one lah

KIMBERLEY' says:

duhh. im the all knowing

nicky says:

everytime PE lesson

nicky says:

always pon to some other world

KIMBERLEY' says:

hahah huh? you mean your brain pons pe?

nicky says:

yesh haha

KIMBERLEY' says:

HAHAHHA WOAH

nicky says:

thats why no conditioning mahh

-

nicky says:

stewpz pandhi

nicky says:

pangsai me

KIMBERLEY(: one for the now and eleven for the later says:

hahah

KIMBERLEY(: one for the now and eleven for the later says:

PANGSAI YOU?!

KIMBERLEY(: one for the now and eleven for the later says:

hahah

nicky says:

YESH

KIMBERLEY(: one for the now and eleven for the later says:

i thought its pangseh..

nicky says:

ur shit piak on me

-

nicky =D says:

yo watsupp

nicky =D says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: A perfect night on the front porch glider, Saying goodnight for the next three hours says:

ceiling

KIMBERLEY(: A perfect night on the front porch glider, Saying goodnight for the next three hours says:

whats down, floor

KIMBERLEY(: A perfect night on the front porch glider, Saying goodnight for the next three hours says:

whats in! ME!

nicky =D says:

...

nicky =D says:

whats out

nicky =D says:

ME

nicky =D says:

eh no

nicky =D says:

shit

nicky =D says:

thats bad

nicky =D says:

HAHAH

KIMBERLEY(: A perfect night on the front porch glider, Saying goodnight for the next three hours says:

HAHAHHA LOSER!

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

how did you know my surname ah

nicky says:

um ... maybe its in ur email.....

nicky says:

just maybe

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

OH YEAH

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

HAHAHAH

nicky says:

no lah

nicky says:

i remember one

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

yeah right

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

i so believe you!

nicky says:

I REMEMBER ONE OKAYYY

-

nicky says:

hmm have u stayed up the whole night before

KIMBERLEY(: lets rewrite an ending that fits says:

yeah i had

nicky says:

hm with?

KIMBERLEY(: lets rewrite an ending that fits says:

okay you gotta go sleep nowwww.

nicky says:

with with with?

-

nicky says:

so what did pandhi pops do yesterday huh.

nicky says:

ehh so who did u go out with.?

-

nicky says:

u nvr go online ytd

KIMBERLEY(: lets rewrite an ending that fits says:

i wasss.

nicky says:

nooo!!

KIMBERLEY(: lets rewrite an ending that fits says:

around 1am

nicky says:

-_-"

nicky says:

1am

KIMBERLEY(: lets rewrite an ending that fits says:

yeah thats like what time i came back what

nicky says:

hai i had church la so had to sleep early

-

nicky says:

hmm

nicky says:

u just went out with that guy alone?

-

There was once we ended up staying online till damn late. He kept asking me to go sleep first. But I refused to. so we agreed to go off together. but it failed. HAHA. In the end I went off first.

and when he got hold of my number he messaged me and i didnt know who he was and he was upset that i didnt save his number and he messaged me pretty often and all but somehow suddenly he'll not reply and then he'll talk to me when i go online and he'll say that im damn mean and i didnt reply him when i did! We figured that there was something wrong with our phones after that.

nicky says:

yohzZxX

KIMBERLEY' says:

hIiEx EUuZ

nicky says:

haha

nicky says:

pandhi nvr reply my sms haha

-

nicky says:

oink oink pandhi

KIMBERLEY(: i'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you says:

pandhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

KIMBERLEY(: i'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you says:

squeak you

nicky says:

hahah!@#

nicky says:

u pandhi kunasai nvr reply my msg

haha. he kinda always kept hinting to me to ask him out which is like WTH haha. but i never did ask him out. he kept asking me to go watch his polo games and he'll keep whining and whining until i agree to go. i went with jem once and saw him filming the game cause that retard got pnuemonia and couldnt play haha and he was upset cause he thought jem was my boyfriend even though i said jem's my bestfriend!

nicky says:

hmm

KIMBERLEY(: i was living in the past, but somehow you brought me back says:

hahah idiot. i hope you can play!

nicky says:

are u sure tt guy was ur best friend.

-

haha. the night before the first game that he could play,

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

hah i go for what. it doesn make a diff anyway

nicky says:

yes it does!!!

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

hah why does it make a diff?

nicky says:

cause it makes a diff.

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

LIKE HOW

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

give me ten reasons

nicky says:

because if ur there

nicky says:

i can say hi to u

nicky says:

(:

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

HAHAH

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

you can say hi to me in school?.

nicky says:

um

nicky says:

hhaha

nicky says:

at the pool there more special mah

nicky says:

ahah

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

HAHAHH

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

woah like its freaking hot there lah

nicky says:

get umbrella

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

HAHAH i will look like a tootttt

nicky says:

nooo!!

nicky says:

haha

nicky says:

haiya its bearable la the sun

nicky says:

aiya just go for the next one

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

which one

nicky says:

go tmr la

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

ohh if i go means i must pon school and i must run 2.4 for the rest of the week know

nicky says:

aiya... run then run la

nicky says:

its like nth to u anyways haha

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

hahah i thought you say dont pon school!

nicky says:

haha

nicky says:

whatever laa

nicky says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

-_-" you ownself say wan eh!

nicky says:

haha as long as it gets u there :D

nicky says:

ahhh go lahh

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

hah then no one accompany me also..

nicky says:

arhh

nicky says:

go find someonE!!

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

i still dont get it! why should i go!

nicky says:

cause i want u to go

nicky says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

hahah and why so?

nicky says:

because i say so :D :D

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

-_-"

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

PANDHI

KIMBERLEY(: i dont know how to be fine when im not says:

doesn make sense.

nicky says:

go luhh

nicky says:

goooooo

nicky says:

haiya just go tmr kayy?

he kept messaging me and asking me to go and he asked me "what colour are you gonna wear!" and i bluffed him "white and black" and he was like "okay i'll be keeping a look out for you!" so when i went to the game and i was waiting for chark to come and accompany me, i was standing on the second level alone. then after the game chark followed me to pass him the kitkatcookiedough that he demanded from me. haha then he messaged me and told me that he saw me when i was on the second level and i was wearing blue and that i bluffed him. haha. and chark was telling me like NICKY LIKES YOU! I CAN TELL FROM THE WAY HE LOOKS AT YOU! haah which is so CHARK but yeah anyway sidetrack, but ant hit chark's face with his trunks HAHAAH and it was damn funny when chark screamed. haha. i remembered how nicky whined to me outside the lecture theatre when i bumped into him and he kept pulling my bag and begging me to go for his game. he's so damn cute <: haha

nicky says:

y'know that day of match

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

yeah?

nicky says:

actually i saw u earlier before u even came down lah

nicky says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

really?

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

HAHAH

nicky says:

yes!!

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

DONT LIE LAH

nicky says:

u were standing at the upper lvl

nicky says:

at one corner

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

YOU THINK I'LL BELIEVE YOU AH

nicky says:

holding ur handphone

nicky says:

see u must wear colorful clothes mah

nicky says:

sumore say u wearing black and white try to trick me!!

nicky says:

HAH.

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

SINCE WHENI SAY I WEAR BLAKC AND WHITE!

nicky says:

YES!!

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

at first i said green!

nicky says:

then u said

nicky says:

no lah i wear black and white or smth like that

he told me how he remembered finishing polo trainings, and standing at the sports complex looking at netball training, trying to see me. and how he remembered after having lost a game and walking in from the back gate and i was having training and i used my fingers to draw a smile and asked him to cheer up. he told me how he loved talking to me, and how amazing i was cause i could make him laugh silly to himself in front of his laptop at like 3 am in the morning. i remember how we always chatted online till insanely late like 2/3am and both of us would be damn tired for school but i'd just skip school. HAHA. so me right.

i remember how he asked for my timetable, and actually copied it down

nicky says:

ehh tell me ur breaks

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

how to?

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

type out ah

nicky says:

i guess.

nicky says:

oie just tell me

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

TSK

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

WAIT

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

monday 0910, 1250, 1310, 1450

tues 0910 0930 1110 1230 1250

wed 0850 1050 1230 1250

thurs 0850 1130

fri 0910 1050 1250 1310 1350

nicky says:

nice. haha

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

did you just like play a joke on me

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

you sucker

nicky says:

???

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

make me type out for fun

nicky says:

no im copying it .

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

YEAH RIGHT

nicky says:

cool

nicky says:

we have at least 20 mins common break everyday

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

anyway i typed wrongly somewhere

KIMBERLEY(: forgetthesilentnightsinthecity says:

HAHHA

nicky says:

what..

nicky says:

walao

no wonder on 25th may 2007, nicky messaged me and said he's coming to look for me in the voiddeck. haha just when i was having break. no wonder... HAHA. i remembered when i found out that he was happening with someone else, then i was like ?!?!!??! bastard!!! haha but yeah i got over it then. haha then i think like a few days later, i was having damn bad flu and my eyes were all damn puffy and i was walking to the stairs when i bumped into him and i walked away very quickly and he chased after me and kept asking me if i was okay and messaged me and all. HAHA he thought i was sad over him. hahaha. and he refused to believe that i was having flu... SO EGO HAHA.

nicky says:

hey y'know

KIMBERLEY(: you're the one mistake, i really didnt mind says:

yeah?

nicky says:

i've never ever gone out with u before

nicky says:

haha

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

ohwell. anyway i got a

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

bigbigbig

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

major

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

secret

nicky says:

what what!

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

my birthday is coming

nicky says:

is it.

nicky says:

realli arh

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

........

nicky says:

HAHAH

KIMBERLEY(: Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer says:

nicky says:

chill lah

nicky says:

i know lah

nicky says:

HAHA

nicky says:

but i wont be around.. ):

he remembered my birthday and texted me from indonesia <: he was the first to wish me haha.

when nicky and I started off as something special, he told me

“Kinda liked you at first during first three months. But then you know. After that kinda forced myself not to.”

nicky has really been very honest with me, in feb last year, he told me what happened in his previous relationship. he was really sad and his expression was one that showed so many regrets. i was shocked. and i decided that i dont wanna be with him anymore. but he didnt give up and my mum told me that everyone deserves a second chance. it took me awhile to accept him again but nicky never had the thought of letting me go and i was touched. He said he’d wait for me to accept him no matter what. throughout the first six months of our relationship, i didnt really care about nicky and i made him so upset so very often that i also dont know what i could do about it. but im glad that he held on to me, and us. [:

-

I shall try to type in chronological order.

JANUARY 2008

1) Nicky wanted to follow me to coach fairfield cdiv netball. The first time I let him after he kept begging me to let him follow. After the game we went to breko and had lunch and we ended up laughing like crazy cause we kept throwing serviettes at each other and trying to dodge and all.

Haha. the subsequent time I had coaching, nicky wanted to come along too. But I didn’t want him to So i dint tell him where i was after school. I tried to run away after school from the void deck. but damn, when he saw me, he actually ran and caught up with me. HAHA. that stalker.

2) There was one morning when he kept hurrying me to school, and asked to meet me outside the toilet along the hall. Haha he said he had something for me. When I reached the top of the stairs I saw him standing outside the toilet, and when he saw me, he gave me a big smile, walked towards me and passed me a box of starburst and his timetable. The time table looked a bit weird and he told me HE HAND COPIED HIS WHOLE TIMETABLE. No wonder it looked quite real but weird at the same time. He even drew the acs crest how about, hahah super cute. And he insisted that I must eat the starburst cause he knows that I always keep the food that people give me and not eat them.

3) I skipped swim pe. And nicky asked me what time I was going to the pool deck. He came to accompany me while i was sitting there with tingali chinaman all, he went off after that sometime to prepare for training and sat with his polo peeps at the other end. he kept looking and smiling at me. and then he showed me the "iloveyou" hand signal (: i was so surprised and could only smile like an idiot. even when he was doing warm up, he kept turning around to look at me and we waved when i was going off. (: (:

4) he had training on a Friday night and he ended around 8 plus before he headed to Holland for dinner. I was at MUTS. he came down right when i got up to leave. i could tell he was looking for me haha. we walked out and saw each other and waved. he messaged me to ask me where i was going. When we were on opposite sides of the road. he waved and showed the “iloveyou” sign high up in the air. hahaha what a retard.

Then he messaged me.

“Wanna meet up later or smth? I’ll go to around your house there. "

"Haha. I want to meet you! Hope you don’t mind. “

He came over at like 10 plus and we sat at the park and stargazed and talked haha. then he sent me back home (:

5) there was once after his polo training one Sunday when I heard knocking on my door and I was damn surprised when I opened the door and saw nicky outside! Haha. cause he actually knows how to come to my house without any directions and he’s never been here before. Haha. and then I was gonna go for some family dinner and nicky actually wanted to come along till his mum called and said they were gonna have dinner. Ahaha and I had to persuade him to go for his dinner.

6) I wanted to transfer to JJC actually at the beginning of the year. I decided to fake nicky that I wanted to tramsfer and all.

“Uh! Are you serious?!

Please tell me you’re kidding.

Pandhi are you serious… “

And then when I told him that I was kidding. He dint reply me cause he was damn upset with me. “'i was damn sad lah. i kept thinking. like why you wanna transfer, whats going to happen. then i think then i reply. maybe thats why i was so angry cause i thought alot" [:

7) When I told him not to bother about me, he kept insisting that he’ll never not bother about me [:

8) once, nicky asked to compare hand size then he held my hand. So lame right HAHA.

9) he bought tickets to switchfoot concert and we went after school! and he wanted to carry my crumpler so i had to carry his and his bag was freaking heavy....... DAMN BAD TO ME RIGHT haha.

we met some guy to collect the tickets and

nicky :he's from jj
me: uhhuh
nicky: i cant believe you wanted to go jj lah. tsk. made me so upset

HAHA. we were sitting down cause i was too lazy to stand up. and like cause i didnt want anyone to know about us then he was holding my hand. then his friends walked past and saw us and he didnt let go of my hand i was like SHITTTT. but very sweet at the same time. hahaha.

oh and I remember he tapped on my shoulder and pointed at me

you: very pretty
me: ... whatever!
you: i like (:
me: ....

he wanted to send me home after the concert. which was super super crazy. i refused and he kept pleading with me. i was like ... omg lah. why so nice.

10) we were both in the voiddeck but sitting rather far away from each other. nicky bought choc marshmallows from some class that was doing fund raising and signalled to me if i wanted them. i nodded. then he held the stick for a long time until his break ended before he took all his stuff and walked over to my table. and then he asked "you want?" i nodded but pakkee went I WANT! hahahah. then nicky looked so retarded. he pointed the stick at pakkee, shook his head and pointed the stick at me. HAHAHAHA it was damn funny but damn cute and sweet. [:

11) i went to watch him swim. after his lesson, he walked behind me and talked to me when I was talking to carey and carey said "no dont take her away from me" and nicky smiled damn retardedly. HAHAHAH. so then i walked away to talk to carey then when i was going down the stairs. he looked at me and asked if i was going over. i nodded. he took his bag immediately and came with me. so we walked all the way back to the main building together. and marc asked me to accompany him to driving and he kept scolding marc for making me go with him haha.

12) he : why everyone got gf ..
me: huh who who.
he: you lor. (in a damn sad voice. FREAKING FUNNY HAHAH)
me: hahahah. my gf special

13)
he: are you coming to watch?
me: watch what?
he: polo
me: orh. tournament ah
he: yeah
me: aiyah see how still so far away
he: uhh. okay
me: last year i went for every one of your match okay!! tho you werent even playing
he: not my fault that i was sick right.
me: hahah yeah true. but still! i ponned school to go watch lah. i how nice you tell me
he: thank you thank you
me: HERH!
he: you know the match against rj?
me: uhhuh. you got play meh?
he: have. the one that you were wearing turquiose and was sitting by the side?
me: ohhhh. yeah yeah i remember.
he: i wanted to score damn badly. and finally i scored one. yay.
me: hahah why did you want to score damn badly.?
he: uhh. dont know? cause you were there?

14) me: can you just put down the phone
he: no. dont want
me: zzz. okay fine i put down. then i dont talk to you forever and ever.
he: eh dont leh.
me: i dont care!
he: cannot dont talk to me!
me: why
he: cause i want you to talk to me.

me: i dont care. im not going to talk to you!
he: wei shen me ni yao zhe yang dui wo. bu yao maaaaaa. bu yao zhe yang.(HAHAHAHA)

15) had some stress management talk and they mentioned bout love and relationships and love language. hahah and the person said "go and ask your gf/bf/family/friends whats their love language so you can avoid conflict" Then I received a message from nicky : “Haha what do you like? Haha!”

16) He came to school to set up the booth for the cca fair during orientation and he watched mass rally after that and he told me he was looking at me the whole time and that I look cute wearing a cap haha.

17) I gave him a pillow with fabric paint on it for his 18^th birthday. The following Friday, I went to a chalet with my og kids and nicky was messaging me telling me how he likes the pillow and how warm and nice it was to be hugging it. And he told me how much he missed me and I was like awww so cute [:

18) after orientation, karen asked me do i have anyone in my life. haah my girlfriend right, so i gave her a clue. i said yes. HAHA. but i didnt tell her who. then she kept asking for clues. so i told her sb10. and she was like SB10?!?!??! WHO WHO WHO! and i didnt want to tell her. we met in the canteen a few days later and she was like "eh i really cannot guess leh. sb10. who?!" then at that moment, nicky walked past and kicked my leg. HAHAHAHA. and karen was like "OMG NICKY PHUA?" haha and i was like err yeah. haha

FEBRUARY 2008

19) “Haha. hm any idea what buses go to around your house there? Im gonna meet a friend there”

he came to meet his friend(who turns out to be me) at midnight. i went downstairs and i knew he’d be at the lift. so i pretended to walk abit and turned around and tadah caught him! He bought me some corn ointment thing for the corn on my little finger (: we spent like 3 hours sitting at some random place talking about everything under the sun and he piggybacked me for the first time haha.and he refused to go home tho he looked dead tired. I refused to let him send me back but he just pulled me into the lift and followed me up all the way to my doorstep. and he whispered iloveyou to me before he left<:

20) val wanted to use the phone but nicky dint want to let him. when val bugged him for a second time. he insisted that i call him. and refused to hang up until i called him first. Even after i promised to call him, he still refused to hang up. and said "fine. pinky promise!" hahah and i laughed. called him like 5 minutes later and he complained and whined that i took so long. hahah.

21) me: "if youre fat, then im like the universe lah"
nicky :"haha dont worry. to the world you might be one person. but to me.. you are the world! :) "

22) during cny, consecutively two nights, nicky and I left visiting and hung out. Haha the first night we went for a movie and we missed the last bus home and he insisted that val pick us up and send me home. I refused to be sent home. he had to tickle me and carry me while I struggle HAHA. in the end, I gave up. When I got into the car, val was like “oh, so this is the mysterious kim” haha and i was like ???. And nicky typed "i love you" on his phone and showed it to me. And he kept trying to take photos of me zzz. Haha. The next night, we went to esplanade and sat by the river talking till morning (:

23) We went to newton for dinner after his og outing. he used a satay stick and wrote "nicky loves kim" on the styrofoam plate. and used the satay sticks to form a heart shape (:

24) I remember the time
you pointed to yourself, formed a heart shape with your hand and pointed to me.[:

25) Nicky came to my house for visiting during cny! he was so nervous to meet my family and my mum just had to intro him as her son-in-law haha. After visiting, we went for bubble tea and ended up shooting pearls all over the place forming our own pearl harbour haha.

26) a few days earlier :

N: "luckily you tell me. if you just push me away suddenly. i think i'll just cry lah"
N: "then me leh. you never think bout how i feel"

I decided that I don’t wanna be with him anymore that night. Cause I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for him at all.

N: "what do you mean forget everything? like all the times we've had and everything?"
N: "i cant just do that"
N: "but i really do love you kim. its not bout deserving or anything. and yes you do make me happy"
N: "why would you screw up my life? no! and how can i stop loving you just yet"

he called me later on. told him how i screwed up peoples lives. and he was like "see. because you dont like them. you dont like me i also commit suicide ah. then you cause alot of problems. see see"
"i also jump down the buliding ah. i go take ten panadols now

haha he’s so silly right. Then he was saying he’s gonna turn gay and all. I really made him very sad cause I refused to talk to him and all. Then two days later, he asked to meet me in school. He passed me a black box which contained dollar hearts and a letter and a lgm keychain. After I read the letter, I just felt like I was a total asshole. And then he told me

"i was damn sad and shocked. and i dint know what to do. like, today my mind was going everywhere. i dint even know how to see you. i dint even want to see you i felt damn cheated. like the past month meant nothing to you. you were like willing to throw everything away"

27)

N: "fine nah. dont want to talk to me"
"huh what what what"
N: "nothing nothing nothing"
"what what what" ....
N: "i love you"
"i dont want to know that., what did you say just now"
N: 'woah fine nah dont care if i love you"
"hahah i care i care! but what did you say just now"
N: "nothing. message me when youre done okay. byebye love you"

28) he changed his braces color to my favourite combination of blue and green (:

and I was at valleypoint when he came from his dental to find me. He was running a super high fever and he still came. I remember that he wrote I(heart)U on my hand. And he was like dying so I cabbed him home haha.

29) valentines day : i remember, nicky lookeed damn cute that day. HAHA when i walked past him and his classmates he smiled at me and my heart melted. HAHAHAHA. hahah. nicky and I still weren’t fully okay cause of the break-off a few days earlier. Plus we barely got to talk at all cause my greatgrandma just passed away and I had to attend the funeral and all the day before valentines. So he dint really ask me out for valentines. But somehow we met up after school. And he was holding a piece of brownie which he saved for me but I refused to eat it hahaha. and he insisted that we go out. So he followed me back home to put down my bag and all the presents and we went to suntec for a movie. Hah we bumped into renhan and his girlfriend! and nicky didnt let go of my hand and i was like woah okay. he refused to talk to me cause i dint want to tell him something! hahah in the end he talked to me first loser! hah so after that, we were silent for a damn long time. hahah. throwing capsicum into each others food, stealing each others water, ruining each others food, and trying to stop each other from eating. hahah. and i poured cheese into his glass HAHAH. the person refilled the water and saw us snatching over the clean cup and he's like "oh its dirty?" and gave us a new glass HAHAH. then he refused to let me eat the mudpie! and took away my fork! hahah. i think the people around us think we are retarded lah. hahahah. so finished dinner at ten plus. and we still dint talk, just kept whacking each other and doing hand signals. Hahah. . and we were playing this "game" cause like i said if hes gonna send me home then im not gonna talk to him. then he said FINE. so i didnt want to talk to him the whole time and he kept hitting my hand and trying to block me from walking. and we were like using hand signals and all it was damn retarded. And I kept running away he kept chasing after me haha. and he kept showing me some hand signals to tell me that he’s gonna send me home. in the end, i talked first cause i really wanted him to go back home. hahah and he said that i lost! what an idiot. Haha, sooo, he sent me home and it was already midnight!

30) i remember my friends telling me "eh nicky walked past our classroom. he was like looking for you"

31) i remember the time that you messaged me bout random stuff and suddenly you said "hey pandhi. i love you!"

32) "okay :) youre more than perfect then. like beyond perfection this world can reach"

33) he piggybacked me and walked on the foot reflexo stones at the playground haha.

34) when he told me what happened between them, I was damn shocked and just sat there in silence. He used 'talk it' on his computer to play 'i dont wanna miss a thing' to me. and he kept staring at me and he was like so sad. and he hugged me so tightly and refused to let go when i wanted to leave and kept asking me what do i think and all that. i was just stunned beyond words.

35) We went to study at valleypoint but ended up cutting up serviettes into conjoining man and many other things hahaha. I felt quite unwell and he wanted to send me home and he was damn worried. haha

36) nicky wore the seres shirt and I was rather shocked and asked him how come he has the shirt. He told me he ordered it from Kenneth cause im in seres [:

37) “um im multi tasking messaging you and doing maths. Haha. notice messaging you is the priority. Haha.”

MARCH 2008

38) The morning that he was leaving for perth, he skipped church and told his mum that he wanted to see me. he came to my house at 11 plus. and called me. i was still sleeping and all and i knew he was outside. i purposely took my time and made him wait outside. he came in, took off his shoes and the first thing he did was to give me a box of dove amicelli and ferrero rocher and a letter. i put them down on the table and he gave me a really long and super tight hug.

he told me that he thought someone would be home and he knocked on the door for very long. he wanted to surprise me by my bed. Hahahaah. And he told me how much he’s gonna miss me and he wished that he dint have to go.

We went for lunch after that before his mum came to pick him. during lunch, he was laughing like crazy he was tearing! Hahaha. and he was singing some song that had "baby i love you " inside and he looked at me haha.

After he left, he texted me , "wow im missing you already"

He texted me until he went up the plane. And when he touched down, and every night/morning he was there (:

39) some guy walked past and hit my hand.
and he was like "what happened? are you okay?"
and i said "oh nothing lah that guy hit my hand"
and he went "he hit your hand? how dare he!"

40) we went on a random adventure at like midnight:

"can dont go home also can. as long as i have time with you"

"what do you want to do?"
N: "haha i wanna be with you!"
"hahah okay.. besides that?"
N: "um be with you more. haha. and more and more"
"woah i'll slap your face. hahah what you wanna dooooo"
N: "haha! slap me la! haha i still wanna be with you"
"hahah idiot. i dont know what to do eh. singapore how boring lah"
N: "i dont know pandhi. really just wanna spend the night with you"

so, in the end,

we went to geylang to look at prossies and trannies. HAHAHA cause ben said it was very interesting.

N: "you better hold my hand all the way"
"dont want"
"i wont let go"
"i run away. you cannot catch me"
"even if i dont catch you, someone else will"
"woah so you want other people to catch me lah!"
"no lah of course not. i wont let you go"

he refused to let go of my hand as we walked through geylang cause he said it was very dangerous and he's not gonna let go.haha

and he agreed to walk through a bunch of prossies on his own after much persuasion. i stood behind and laughed as i watched all of them grab him. hahaha. he was damn traumatised after that.

he sent me home even though it was like 5 in the morning. <:

41) Me:"you can get new phone soon right?"
N:"yeah june"
"eh, me also! "
"really?"
"yeah 29th june"
"lets get the same phone!
"are you serious.. "
"yeah!"
"but i use this kinda phone eh. quite girly right"
"i dont mind"

Me:"i wanted to go be missionary in africa next time"
N: "really, then?"
"next time lah. but i bet i'll come back with aids

"huh you better not go, i dont let you go" - eyes wide and looked shocked
"aiyah. by that time you got new girlfriend already lor"
"no, wont lor"
"yes lor"
"nooo, really wont"

42) went to surprise nicky after he got back from perth. i was texting him, telling him that im out and all and he sounded upset. and then he came home and made so much noise. hah then suddenly all was silent and i knew he was reading the letter. His mum was looking everywhere for me. But I was actually hiding in the toilet haha. and val asked her what happened and i heard her say "i dont know. he's smiling all the way" hah. nicky called me when he finished the letter and i went out to surprise him. val came in and smacked him on the back and said "this is your surprise" and then. he gave me a tight hug. and said

"you know i was quite sad just now."
"huh why?"
"i thought i could see you today but i couldnt"
"oh. but now you saw me. hah"
"i was damn sad lor. you make me so sad lah. lie to me"
"i good liar right"
"fine nor lie to me"
"i dint even really lie lor. hahah. technically i only told one lie okay!"
"i really believe you were with your friends lor"
"hahah im sucha a good actress"

43) he told me about his trip and showed me pictures and gave me presents. He bought me havis, a pig keychain, soap, womby and many starbursts. (: I asked him "how you know my size?" and he said "i tried it on" HAHAHAH. cause like we exchanged slippers and walked in them before. hahah. then i was like" you remember?" and he said "yeah of course" HAHAH. yay :D he bought havaianas for himself too. and he bought the same colour as the one i already have HAHA (: copykatz.

Then he followed me to meet yunting and joanne. and he accompanied me till I met ben [:

44) The first time he said he wanted to marry me. After his polo game he called and I told him that I wanted to go watch soccer and he said he wanted to go too. So he took a cab and picked me up and we headed to njc together. and everyone was like staring at us and I was like…shit. Haha. After the game, we went to town for dinner. And we started talking about marriage. When I asked him where does he want to hold his wedding dinner. He said that he wanted to hold it wherever I want to hold it at and I was like huh why? And he said “cause I’m gonna marry you!” and I was just stunned. Haha. And he kept asking me why I don’t wanna marry him in a very sad way haha.

45) i was sick and i was going to sleep after taking some medicine. and i asked nicky what he was doing. he told me he was listening to music so i told him that i was going to sleep. while sleeping, i was awakened by a kiss on my forehead. nicky surprise-visited me!! he was on the bus when he said he was listening to his music( his ipod HAHA) (this happened twice actually hahaha)

46) one day, I was out with ben Jaclyn and all and we were supposed to club. But I dint want to cause I had a feeling that nicky is gonna ask me out. He kept hinting that someone will ask me out later. Haha he did ask me out later on, like near midnight. So we met up for a movie and icecream. We were like doing retarded things like trying to compete see who can throw the tissue into the bin and all. Actually we always do that. Hahaha. then we went to see trannies at orchard hotel there.

Nicky :"ah why no hot trannies"
me: "you unlucky what"
nicky: "nevermind at least got you"
me: "im not a tranny!"
nicky: "but youre hot!"

headed to forum macs. Where he wrote NICKY LOVES KIMBERLEY using the condensed water on the glass door (: haha we sat there talking till the first bus and he was super insistent on sending me home but I was like NOO!!@!@!@! Haha. we both went home and he called and accompanied me on the phone till I got home and was ready for bed. [:

47) I was sick and he came over to surprise me (: I really thought he was going home until a few seconds later, someone knocked on my door and my grandma opened the door and this tall pandhi walked into my room (: he bought me vitamin C so that I’ll stop falling sick haha. he was happy cause he thought we can go ssp together, but he did so well and he wasn’t in ssp but he said he’d go if I wanted him to not going to. He told me a bedtime story and he told me that he’s happy that i love him (:

48) nicky :"no la. you will never be a vegetable. haha and even if you do, i'll take care of you!"
me :"hahah im sure you will take care of me lah. you'll just run away with some other girl"
nicky: "no! i'll take care of you! really!"

me: "why are you so nice to me?"
nicky: "why am i so nice to you ah... i dunno eh. why ah? haha!"
me: "shouldnt you ask yourself why youre so nice to me! hahah. why why."
nicky: "well i dont know. cause i love you"

49) he likes to lie on my lap and he likes me to touch his face haha especially when we are watching tv.

50) he asked me what polo cap number i wanted him to be. I said 11. But don’t know what happened he wasn’t able to get it and he was quite angry haha.

51) bumped into him at cine. and he came to say hi and reena was like "why he smile until like that" HAHAH. Then we met up later on and you sent me back and we sat downstairs and talked for damn long haha.

"eh you know i thought that jeremy was your boyfriend"
"huh. jem tian? hahah. no bestfriend"
"i thought he was your boyfriend lor"
"tsk. you know youre like the first okay no, second guy i like twice"
"really. tsk. youre the first girl i like twice leh. "
"orh okay. tsk you damn bad lah"
"huh.. sorry. you know last year like after one match we lost. then we were all so down. i walked past the netball D and you showed me some cheer up sign"
"er.. have meh? i cant remember"
"have lor. i remember"

"my face very bad lor"
"okay what. also no one will see you close up. only me right. unless you want other people so see!"
"nooo. cause only you'll see. and youre important what."
"what rubbish -_-""
"what if some other nicer and better looking guy come and take you away"
"wont happen lah please. "

then he sent me back home. and he refused to go. he kept standing at my door and asking me to close the door first. then he walked down the steps and pretended to leave but i know he was still there ahhah. in the end finally, he left. and then i texted him, he sounded kinda upset. so i like asked him if hes okay. he said that "just wondering if im too clingy... i dont know" hahah hes so cute lah hahah ohyah i said like "wahlao stop touching my face, later got more pimples. very ugly" and he’s like "no, still very pretty" HAHAH. ohyeah and before he left he did I HEART YOU to me <: <:

52) ARTS NIGHT : He was having training before that and I was at arts night. He went out after training and he wanted to meet me after arts night. I refused to meet him cause there was school the next day. he dint even mind coming to my house here to meet me but its just crazy and i said that i dint wanna meet. and he sounded quite sad so he called when he got home and we talked till 12 plus. And I got quite scared when I saw how much he wanted to meet me and that’s when I felt damn bad when I realized that I didn’t like him as much as he liked me

53) He was lying on my lap and I covered his eyes and he was like "ah i cant see you" and kept trying to hit my hand away hahaha.

54) i told him before that i dont like guys with armpit hair and leghair all. so he said okay he wants to shave. so im like

"why have you decided to shave?"
"huh.. for you"

haha. so on the day of his first polo game, he saw me in the void deck and he was like raising his arms and all HAHA. then when I went to watch his game. He looked up and saw me upstairs and he did backstroke to show me his clean and hairless armpits. HAHAHAHA

55) After his first polo game, he wanted to meet me for a movie.

but I turned him down cause I was damn lazy haha.

" hmmm. could i meet you?"
"yeah. i wanna meet you."
"no no no. haha. you wanna catch a movie?"
"huh really. cant i see you?"

then i guess he wanted to find me at my house but i dint reply. and like i replied one hour plus later and he asked me if anythings up. i pretended as if everythings alright.

the next day he had a very big game against hc. And like I kinda didn’t really want to talk to him those two days. And oka was telling me that nicky played as if he was troubled or something. And I felt damn bad. And after the game,

nicky talked to me

nicky says:

is there anything that u'd like to talk about?

KIMBERLEY(: says:

why the sudden question

nicky says:

dont know...just feels different when i look at u and talk to u these 2 days?

nicky says:

i dont want anyone else but you!!!!!!1

KIMBERLEY(: says:

i thought bout it for two days already. i dont know lah. aiyah. dont you think it will be better?

nicky says:

of course not!

KIMBERLEY(: says:

hur why so?

nicky says:

cause we havent eaten our harley davidson motorcycle.. (-____-)

KIMBERLEY(: says:

-________-" eat with someone else lah.

nicky says:

must eat with u!!

KIMBERLEY(: says:

i dont wanna eat anymore.

nicky says:

what.

nicky says:

have u like lost feelings for me?

KIMBERLEY(: says:

then have you lost feelings for me?

nicky says:

no!

nicky says:

none at all!

nicky says:

not a single bit

KIMBERLEY(: says:

hmm okay. do you like.. like me alot?

nicky says:

what a question?

KIMBERLEY(: says:

i dont know.

nicky says:

what u mean by a lot

KIMBERLEY(: says:

i dont know, by your own definition?

nicky says:

well.. i guess by my own definition .. i definitely like u alot more than anyone else

KIMBERLEY(: says:

really.. and why me?

nicky says:

cause ur special!

KIMBERLEY(: says:

tsk. everyone is lah.

nicky says:

then why did u like me?

KIMBERLEY(: says:

hmmm. good question. HAHAH i dont know. cause youre special

nicky says:

wow..

nicky says:

tsk. everyone is lah.

nicky says:

-________-"

56) there was once when nicky was very hungry and he asked me to cook noodles for him. being nice, I did. Turned out the noodles sucked damn bad HAHAHAH like really bland and all. Inedible man. But nice pandhi finished it anyway <: HAHA.

57) nicky said hi to me at the school gate. i dint reply his message and he messaged me again. he set his funorama shift timing to the same as mine. (: AND HE FREAKING USED A WATERGUN AND SPRAYED WATER AT ME WHILE I WAS DOING SOME PREPS. HAHAHA ASSHOLE.

58) FUNORAMA. he got damn upset, cause he saw someone lean on my shoulder. but he dint see me moving away. i was thinking why he got so upset and left without even saying bye -_-" so i dint wanna care and didnt want to reply him when he messaged me. i was super cold to him the whole time. and i went out for dinner with other people and didnt want to meet him.

he texted me the next day after fun-o-rama. and said that i dont care bout anything blah blah. he felt so uncared for and stuff and he was mostly mad at *. i got so sick of replying that i dint reply. he texted me one hour plus later and asked if i was okay. i was really cold and i dint want to talk to him. then he asked if i could come out of my house i was like !@!#?!

So i walked down from my home, and there he was at the end of the stairs. and i will never forget that pair of eyes that looked so hurt and sad and i felt like my heart was being squeezed by guilt. I’ll never forget that face. he came over at near nine to meet me. we just went to the pavillion there and talked. it was so awkward at first. damn silent. and he said like "whats wrong? i feel like youre treating me differently" and he was angry cause of *, like * leaned on me in front of him and stuff. "i just really cant stand it" and he was angry cause i went dinner with * also. and he told me like he was hoping i'll go find him during his duty and he wanted to see me actually. he said like he was hoping to explain to me and stuff and he just kept thinking bout me. "i just kept thinking" and I replied “about? And he said "you" then he said he wanted to explain stuff to me but he dint want to ruin the carnival for me. then like he told me he was angry bout *** asking me to stayover also. and asked what if he wasnt in my life. why do i want to be with him. why do i like him. and he said he was really sad all and like im very mean to him. he said he really cares alot bout me and he was kinda upset when i said i'll let him go. he also said he's insecure and he said im really mean to him. "i really care alot"

"please dont push me away.. please”

I walked him to the bus stop at near midnight and I was glad we cleared things up and when he got home he talked to me on msn.

nicky says:
thx pandhi.
nicky says:
:D
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hmm? for? hah
nicky says:
ehhhhhh verrr reeee thannggggg
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahahah okay.. like what! hahha
nicky says:
like
nicky says:
for yourself!
KIMBERLEY(: says:
ahah for myself? whatever for..
nicky says:
just for existing
nicky says:
HAHAH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahah so what if i exist!
nicky says:
so i could meet u
nicky says:
so i could talk to u
nicky says:
so i could be with u
nicky says:
so i could love you.

:D

59) KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahah fine lah. its to watch your match okay
nicky says:
yay
nicky says:
must smile big big when i look at u okay? :D
KIMBERLEY(: says:
HAHAHAH
nicky says:
HAHAHAH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
like how.
nicky says:
until i can see ur teeth
KIMBERLEY(: says:
always can see what!
KIMBERLEY(: says:
no meh! hahah
nicky says:
uhh can but..
nicky says:
ok then until i can ...
nicky says:
see ur back teeth
nicky says:
HAHAH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
WOAH
nicky says:
HAHAHAH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
thats OPENING MY MOUTH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
HAHAHAHAH
nicky says:
nooo
nicky says:
but by smiling
nicky says:
so it has to be
nicky says:
REALLY REALLY WIDE

The next day, he Signal to me to smile wide wide when he was in the pool -___-“ hahaha

60) Nicky always smiled at me when I went to the poolside to watch his polo games. When he’s playing, he still can turn and smile all (especially during the rj game) HAHA pro right. Plus he’ll wave to me and smile when he swims across during halftime. Haha damn charming maybe HAHA.

61)One day, ant called him and talked about how stressed he was over the upcoming rj game. And I asked nicky

"are you stressed?"
nicky :"yeah quite?"
then he held my hand, "but got you, so not stress" (:

62) met up at Holland after we got halfday off cause of funorama. We had dessert at coffeeclub before he had to go back for polo stuff. He was late already but he still refused to go. Haha. went for his polo game later on and after the game he called me and realized that im gonna watch soccer and he said he wanted to come along. So he picked me up in a cab and we headed to nj for the game (:

APRIL08

63) I passed him a letter in the morning. and yunting was like “WOAH HE SMILE UNTIL DAMN HAPPY”. hahahah. so cuteeeee. i was in the void deck. pandhi went to take cake from darrell's birthday celebration. and called me and came to me and sat with me. and then he gave me the cake. Hahah <: went for his rj game later on. he played damn well! Some guy was teling val “eh ask your brother to do a few more eh” after nicky scored. haha.

64) after the game i went back to school for rugby. Ohyeah. Nicky won some pig soft toy at fun-o-rama. somehow it ended up with pam and he told pam to pass me the soft toy on the day of his rj game. I was damn surprised when I got the pig toy. I thought it was meant for nicky. So I passed it back cause I thought I wasn’t gonna meet nicky. But after nicky’s game, he came to the bleachers to find me and sat with jaclyn and i. and he gave me the pig.

"i won it at the funfair! when i saw it, i was like i must play this game and win the toy for you!"

HAHAHAHA.

65) When nicky and I both wore our dragon tees and took pictures together. haha then after that we swopped our tees and took pictures again. Then he gave me his polo dragon tee (: he gave me a pair of his barker shorts too! Haha cause its rather comfy.

66) he sounded really cute when he said "yao wan ting, wo ai ni"

67) N: "i almost forgot i drove today. see time spent with you makes me forget things"
"so my fault now lah"
"no not your fault. its a good thing what. "
"no i make you forget happy things"
"no. it just means that time spent with you is happier cause it makes me forget the happy things"

[:

68) I went to jj to watch the soccer match and nicky was there too. He decided to go watch the match cause he knew I was going. But I left halfway to cab back to school for stupid spa. After spa, I checked my phone and nicky was telling me that he was heading home already and all when I saw him at the concourse! He came back to school to wait for me (: we headed to town with marc for free cone day. While in the bus, nicky wrote “iloveyou” using his finger on the back of marc’s seat(marc was sitting in front of us)haha <: “you're really cute" "can you smile cutely again" he kept going on and on bout me being very cute -_-“. We sat at the bus stop and he asked if i could miss my bus so we could spend a lil more time together (:

69) We spoke on the phone till 430am in the morning and both died in school the next day haha

70) Nicky always sends me home and watches me sleep before he leaves for driving. He will always run his fingers through my hair till I fall asleep (: then after his driving lesson, he’ll head back to my place and usually I’ll wake up to his face cause my grandma will open the door for him haha.

71) He came to surprise me once after his driving and bought me a donut haha

72) Pakkee and I went to support yunting and marc at ccab while nicky was home jamming with his homies in preparation for nicole’s birthday party. He kept persuading me to go over and I was rather reluctant but still went over in the end. I slept while they jammed. And maybe it was damn noisy I barely slept.. hahaha. but he was so cute to visit me while i was sleeping haha and at least we had dinner together [:

73) Went to support him for his 3^rd/4^th placing and then he wanted to hang out but we both couldnt make it so he said we'll meet up at night.

he was playing lan in town and I went to meet him at plaza sing as arranged. But then I was thinking I didnt want him to give up the time with his friends also. So I asked him to continue playing and that I’ll go home. he called and asked me to wait for him. he ran to plaza sing to find me. first thing he did when he came to me was to give me a tight hug and apologised.

Hahaha. we walked around and saw carrefour. and he's like "i remember carrefour!"

hahah and i was like "remember what?"
"i remember i met you here! " haha

I came up with some smart idea to walk to esplanade how about. We almost died. HAHA and he piggybacked me halfway haha

74) Once I was at his place and we were watching tv.

" dont go home so early okay. stay longer"

then he fell asleep.. -_-“ So I asked him to go to his room and sleep.

so i tucked him in and asked him to sleep and he refused. he's like "why do you keep chasing me away" " why are you pushing me away" "why do you want me to sleep. i dont want to sleep. is something wrong?" then he kept asking me if anythings wrong and stuff. so i just kept assuring him that nothings wrong and i just wanted him to sleep. He kept saying that i wanna leave him alone behind and runaway from him. told him like i wanted to go back and he was pretty upset. refused to let me go and kept holding me.

"can you sleep please?"
"no i dont want. i want to be with you"
"im here what, sleep okay"
"i dont want to sleep. i rather stay up with you the whole night"

kept getting him to sleep and hes like

"i really dont want to sleep. i really really dont want to sleep."

then i had to promise that i wont leave him and that i'll wake him up. and he's like "are you sure you wont leave? promise you wont leave okay. promise you'll wake me up okay."

"dont leave me" was what he said before he closed his eyes hahaah.

his dad came up and insisted on sending me home. so like i was torn between waking nicky up and not. but i did. cause i dint want him to be upset bout me leaving his side. so he followed me back in his dads car. like in the car, he typed messages on his phone to show me. he was upset that i had to go home and we dint go to adam road. hahah. and like he mouthed "i love you " to me. he's superrr cute haha

75) We looked through his baby photos and he tried to cook for me. Haha. but his dad insisted on helping him cook and nicky got damn angry ahhaha.

76) When I made nicky damn upset again…
N: "you dont care much bout me do you"
" what makes you think so. "
"youre always happy, always with all your friends, always having fun. i feel like you can live your life without me. youre not even effected at all"
"i told you i dont know how to show right"
"do you know how!... painful it is for me"

N:"you put your friends above me. what if one day you have to choose between spending time with them and me?"

77) claire came and asked me if i have something going on with you

"eh you and nicky.."
"huh.. why everyone say. its just a rumour. really got nothing"
"ohh. just now i sat beside him during econs. then he kept messaging and smiling. so i asked him to pay attention and to stop smiling at his phone and then kenneth said kimpossible. cannot be nothing right"

78) we only had one common break the whole day. and during the common break, i know we were sitting opposite each other. but i was doing some stuff, and when i looked up. i saw him staring at me. i was like woah. and then when he was leaving for class, he smiled and waved bye.

after school i went home and took a nap. headed over to his house at near 8. he was talking to me on the phone while i was making my way there. and he picked me up at the bus stop though i dint want to tell him what time i'll be reaching. he was there waiting for me. [: We were watching she’s the man when his dad came and asked if I was gonna go home already. Then I said i wanted to go back and nicky was like "you want to go home already?" then showed me sad face. and asked a few times "you want to go home now?" he walked me out and waited with me for my bus. I felt damn troubled like his parents hate me or something cause I always make nicky not study.

he called while i was on the way home. and we talked and stuff. his dad was being naggy and insisted that he hang up and stuff. heard him being so frustrated for the first time ever. so like i told him that we should take a break and stuff via sms after we hung up. and he called me and we talked.

"can you just dont bother about me?"
N: "no. i'll never not bother bout you"
"no seriously. just stop"
"no, i wont"
".. seriously lah. really. stop bothering bout me"
"how can i ever stop bothering bout you? no way lah. i will never stop bothering about you"

"stop wasting your time on me seriously"
"im not wasting my time on you. you know whats wasting time on you. its if we end everything now"
"thats wasted time, but you wont be wasting anymore time"
"isnt that worse, to have wasted time"
"no, at least you wont be wasting time anymore"
"it wont be wasting time, cause its time spent with you"

N : "i can manage. i really can manage. i promise. really really"

N : "end? how can you just end everything like that"

N : "do you like hate me?"
"no? why would i"
N: "i dont know. youre always pushing me away"
"i know.."
N: "you know? seriously, youre always the one ending things lah"

"after we end, then like you'll have nothing else on your mind, then you can focus on studying"
N: “no, i'll still have you on my mind"

and I was just damn insistent on breaking up then.

The next day I didn’t go to school, and nicky talked to marc about it. nicky told me like he really felt like giving up. And he really dint know what to do. He was damn helpless and frustrated/upset/etc all the negative emotions. Haha. and he was really upset with me cause I just wanted to end things like that. So he called me at around 5 plus pm. And tried to talk things out.

He told me that he almost gave up but he didn’t cause he thought that it was damn stupid to give up so easily. We talked things through after that.

N: "you know in the morning i could sense that you werent in school already"
"huh really."
"yeah. im psychic"

N:"i hope i can drive soon! then can drive you around"

N:"hur you wanted to throw me today away lor"
"what throw!"
"yes lor. you wanted to throw me away today."
"tsk. i have my reasons right"
"so, you still wanted to throw me away"
"zzz."
"i follow you make ezlink card tomorrow okay."
"no"
"why?"
"dont want"
"i want i want!"
"NO"
"why! i want i dont care"
"i'll run away after school."
"i'll find you"
"no you wont be able to!"
"i will. ohyah planetshakers tomorrow you coming"
"i guess"
"really! yay! you coming both days right."

Nicky:“can i gym?"
"hah you ask me for what. your body right also not mine"
"but! aiyah. haha so can i gym?"
"huh your choice lah up to you"
"eh you know i really never gym since you said lor"
"huh really ah."
"yeah."
"chey also not very long"
"but! at least i put effort into it right!"

(nicky doesn’t gym cause I said that if he gets any buffer, I wont want him anymore HAHAHAHAH)

just when I thought everything was okay already, I found out that nicky actually lied about something that night. And I really broke it off with him. he told me that he was at home initially but he said later on that he went out. and yeah I hate liars, so I broke it off with him then. He kept calling and texting but I didn’t respond.

The next morning :

"morning kim. you dont have to reply this message. just wanted to say good morning. and dont get caught in the rain yep. hope to see you.."

had one common break and i so coincidentally looked into his eyes.. joanne said "he looks really sad" nicky called a few times and messaged and asked if we could talk but I didn’t reply at all.

saw marc messaging him accidentally. only saw his name though. so i was thinking that nicky was asking him for help. so like i dint really care also. after school marc like called me all and asked where was i and came and find me and said i never wait for him which was pretty weird. so like we ate together with our classmates and i knew nicky was in the voiddeck too. marc asked me to leave school with him. when i was walking out with joanne and marc, marc was talking on the phone telling someone where we were and that we were walking out of school. so like i was walking very slowly. and suddenly i felt like theres someone behind me. and how bout nicky ran all the way and caught up with me.

joanne said "he sprinted all the way and caught up with you"

zzz. he tried to explain and stuff. but i dint want to talk to him or look at him. he looked damn sad. and he kept tugging at my bag and saying please. and he kept trying to explain and kept apologising. my bus came and i told him to go away many times and i ended off with im freaking serious, dont follow me. he followed me up the bus anyway. and i dint let him sit beside me. so he sat in front of me and i used my jacket to cover my face. he called and texted me. i dint reply. i texted marc to ask him to ask nicky to go away and that i dont want to talk to him. nicky followed behind me all the way until we reached my house. and he walked a bit quicker, to be beside me. but i just went into the lift and closed the door on him.

and I dint talk to him at all after that although he messaged me the next morning. Till the next night, Friday night. At around 1 am,

someone knocked on my door. And I opened it to see nicky standing outside. He looked super sad I cant even bear to look at him. and he passed me a letter. And I just closed the door on him. he sat at the bus stop waiting for me to give him a reply as to whether im gonna give him a chance or not. And he told me if I were to give him a chance, I just have to stand at my kitchen window and used my camera to give him a flash(-_-). I don’t know what to do so I texted him and said maybe we should talk first. So we met downstairs to talk and I sat damn far away from him.

"so do you have anything else to say to me?"
"can you give me another chance?"
"what will happen if i dont give you a chance? will you still wait for me?"
"yes"
"really?"
"yeah... unless you want me to get out of your life.. then i'll go away.."
"what will happen if i give you a chance?"
"i promise i wont ever lie to you again. really"
"its not going to be easy"
"i know its not easy. but im willing. i'll do whatever it takes."
"do you think its worth it"
"yes"

we went on to talk a lot more. And nicky teared when I told him that its impossible between us again cause I’ll never be able to trust him again. But after talking for very long..

"can you please give me another chance?"
"... i guess..."
"really?"
"yeah."
"i guess i have alot to work on"
"thats if you want to"
"of course i want to"

he stood up and walked towards me and sat down next to me. and we talked for a fair bit more and he said thanks.

"okay lah lets go back now."
"no i dont want to go back"
"why?"
"i want to spend more time with you.."

we sat there playing some stupid games and looking thru some photos. and he insisted on sending me back to my doorstep. i kept pushing him away, he actually carried me all the way into the lift. and walked me back. He kept saying "thanks" for like ten over times..

and nicky really tried very hard to win back my trust after that. and it took me pretty long before i could fully trust him again. but i was just glad that he was willing to work hard to earn my trust back

79) went to school. Was supposed to have a friendly with rp. nicky insisted on following me to the match. i dint want to let him, but decided to cause he was so insistent.

"can i go too? please please please. can i go can i go! can i go? can i go? pls pls pls pls. can i go! i wanna go i wanna go! pls let me go pls pls pls"
"wa i so enthu then you just say no :( i follow you okay?"
"i want to see leh. pls pls. hm i want to watch you play!"
"hm pandhi. i wanna watch you play leh please."
"i still want to watch you play please. okay?"
haha eh i dont mind. as long as i watch you play!"
hm i wanna watch today leh..."
"yay thx pandhi. i dont mind. least i will have time to watch you! :)"

so he came to find me after school ended for him and followed me to the game and he even played street netball with us after. After the game, he sent me home. I noticed that he was damn quiet so I asked him if hes okay. He kept saying he was okay and all. Until later on he finally said that it was cause this guy who used to like me was on my team for street netball.

"why, you jealous cause # on my team?" (i asked kiddingly)
"yeah"
"dont bluff lah"
and he kept quiet.

"so dya have fun just now?"
"not really"
"why"
"cause you were on #’s team"
"huh are you serious"

but we cleared things up after that. He sent me back home after we had supper at my house here.

awhile later, he called and asked me to look out my window and asked if i could see him. i remember telling him that you can see the bus stop from my house. so he stood at the traffic light there and waved to me looking like a retard. so we talked until his bus came. then when he got home, he bathed and all and called again [:

80) we were talking and all and suddenly he said "you make me feel brand new"

81) N: "okay goodnight. i love you"
"huh?"
"i love you"
"huh?"
"i love you"
"oh.. same here"
"i love you"
"i said same here lah idiot go and die"
"oh! hahah i thought you said cant hear. wahlao make me say so many times"
"woah so cannot say many times lah!"

82) “Hey pandhi.. I really hope that you’d think that we’re more meant for each other than anyone else.”

83) When he got barbered and I wanted to see how he looked but he didn’t wanna let me! Then we ended up fighting and not going out after school. Haha but he came over to surprise me after his school ended! <:

84) one day, he just kept saying i became cuter.

“But I feel like you seem really honestly like cuter suddenly. Like just today. I dunno why. “

“As in.. you’re adorable as always but today somehow you just seem much more adorable. Really! But I really dunno why..”

and he said its cause i put cute dust on my face HAHAH.

then later on he met me at the drinks stall coincidentally and he walked back to the voiddeck with me and told me "eh i really think you look cuter today like really. like i dont know why. you just look cuter today. i really think you look cuter today. like just suddenly cuter. really really you really look cuter. i love you" <:

85) "you're more important than anything in the world to me!"

86) you said all these to me face to face "you're first in my heart. you're first in my everything. you're first in my life. i care for you the most. i've never felt like caring so much for someone. i think about you everytime. i can't ever stop thinking about you. i really need you. you dont know how much you mean to me and i really love you, more than you ever can imagine. And I’ll still love you no matter what. I’ll always love you. You’re really the one I love most" and I almost cried.

MAY 08

87) N: Heh are you tired honey?

me : yeah quite.

N: Haha. I see. Guess its cause you’ve been running through my mind(HAHAHA)

N: you’re extra hotstuff extra cutie mega pie extra icing on super fudge cake (HAHAHAH this is like total nonsense)

N: wish I could just quit school and just be with you

88) i saw that he was having a break at the same time as me. i sat with my classmates, and i saw him stand up from his seat to look at me. as if checking to see if im in school. we could see each other though we were very far apart. he kept smiling and doing retarded faces at me again. trying to move his head so that he can see me cause there were people blocking.

89) another time when i was sick and i didnt go to school. nicky came over after school and dinner with his friends and he bought me a pretty red rose and made me feel better [:

me: "ahhh why you come!"
n: "cause i wanna see you!"

N: do you know the meaning of a single red rose?

it was like around 9 when he came and there was school the next day and i was saying how silly he was but he insisted that he really wanted to see me. [: and he said sorry cause he didnt get me a blue rose cause there wasnt any blue roses, and blue roses are my favourite. Haha so silly!

90) nicky came over one afternoon to pick me up. Before I stepped out of the door he said "wait, i have something for you" i was like thinking "... what is it this time" HAHAH. and i was anticipating a letter actually. and when he took the LGM out from his bag, i was rather shocked. tahah. its really totally unexpected! he spent many many dollars catching it at the arcade, while i was home sleeping. <:

91) "you keep me alive"

" life has fated me for you since the start of my life. Haha!"

"Woa. I fragile that’s why must spend every moment I have left with you! (: and seriously.. I think you’re beautiful. haha. Pops your head lor. You then pops. Got * all. Haha. Both ways somemore hmph! Make me jealous haha! "

92) me: what you want what you want
he: YOU
me: go and die HAHAH

me: are you hungry?
he: yeah. hungry for you.

93) nicky says:
u'll always be my beloved pandhi...
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahah really. really really reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
nicky says:
yes yes yes yessssssss!!!! :D

94) We were both at ac’s got talent but with different people. And he wanted to meet after the concert and I was damn hesitant cause then everyone will see us together! But in the end I agreed to meet him. So we met at the concourse and went to Holland. I remember how I refused to tell denise where I was going. Haha [:

95) N: "eh why you cover your face!" "tsk. dont want let you see lah!" "why! dont cover! i wanna see your pretty face!" "youre never ugly! youre pretty no matter what"

96) N: Wa.. no that’s just too much. Haha I should just cut your heart out..

What! why cut my heart out!

hm cause your heart is what loves. :)..

woah so you want my heart only dont want the person! hahah.

Hm yes. I want your heart.. your lovely. Beautiful. And flawless heart :)…

haha dont you already have my heart? given it to you long time ago havent i? hahah. well. i want your heart too! hahah

I really love you a lot :).. heh but I want your whole heart.. and I’ve also given you my heart. Haha.

hahah where's your heart? when did you give it to me? got put in box? hahah.

Haha. spiritually its wholly with you honey. I really really love you a lot.

:D :D :D

97) once, nicky was abit frustrated cause the weather was very hot and i made him walk in the sun and i got upset cause he was frustry and so i refused to talk to him the whole time. we went out with marc and friend after that. he bought me coke during dinner cause its my favourite drink and i didnt want it. he tried to talk to me but i just ignored him. after marc's brother dropped us off near the bus stop after a movie at marc's place, he tried to talk to me. but i ignored him and continued walking. he got so frustrated he pulled me and stood in front of me and refused to let me walk. but i walked past him and he stood in front of me again and said "can you talk to me!" and i looked at that pair of eyes filled with so much hurt and i just kept quiet. i continued walking to the bus stop and sat there and while he tried to talk to me and i just kept quiet the whole time and just hopped onto the bus when it came. i know i made him really upset. the next day, i went out with a bunch of friends and dint tell him. i receive a message from him and he asked me if im home but i told him i was out. he got really upset cause he went to my place to find me but no one opened the door when he knocked and he was really super upset that i went out and didnt tell him. i called him and i heard him cry over the phone and i felt damn bad. the frustration/anger/sadness all together as he spoke. i dint know what to say and kept quiet again. and that was the time when my heart first sank when i heard him say "i really cannot take this anymore" and he hung up on me. i just dint know what to do and i knew like i was really damn bad. that night was the first time i was nice and i went over to his place to surprise him. his expression when he saw me was priceless and i could tell he was really happy. i never did this kinda apologizing thing before and i was almost trembling as i sat on the chair and stared at the floor. I couldn’t even open my mouth to say sorry… and he started with “can I give you a hug?” and he gave me a really tight hug and said that he was really very sad and wanted to give up cause as hard as he's been trying, i just dont give a shit about him. he held my hand and said that he really loves me and he doesnt want to leave me. He told me that he’s teared cause of me a few times but this time he cried. Zzz I really suck.

"and i really cried in the cab on the way home. and youre really the first girl ive ever cried over.."

98) he Asked me out after the netball finals. I was with Royston and denise and I had to give some excuse to go meet nicky and when I boarded the cab with nicky in it, I slouched and hid so that denise and Royston cannot see me HAHA damn loser right. All cause I dint want anyone to know about nicky and me. but they realised anyway haha

99) The last day of the first sem I told nicky that I was gonna pon school. And I thought he would as usual go to school. But the next morning, I was woken up damn early by him nudging me. He skipped school too! Haha he said he asked his mum if he could not go to school and at first his mum was quite angry but she woke him up the next morning and said that he could not go if he didn’t want to. And he came over to surprise me <:

The first thing he said to me was "ah you know i missed you alot. i wanted to see you so badly"

N: "im glad i spent the morning with you"
"but you could have slept more!"
"but i wanted to see you!"

"am i the first thing on your mind?"
N: "yeah of course! youre constantly on my mind. i think of you all the time"

N: "i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. like really really alot"

N: "i wish we can be like this forever" (just watching tv HAHHA)

N: "im happy, as long as im with you"

"what are you thinking about?"
N; "how beautiful you are. how perfect you are"

100) We planned to go to sentosa on the first day of the june holidays. And he was damn excited he kept saying he couldn’t wait.

"i really cant wait for tmr to come! :) its gonna be so so much fun!”

Hahaha. we met damn early and had breakfast before heading to take many pictures. Headed to dolphin lagoon where shu was working and she picked nicky to be the volunteer to play with the dolphins! Underwaterworld + luge + skyride etc etc. it was a really fun day. And we went to tan for awhile too. Nicky wrote “nicky (popped out heart shaped) kim” on the beach [: and I wanted to tan my name onto my arm by pasting plasters on my arm. i took out the plasters and i started cutting them. And nicky was like “ I want also!” so i passed him the scissors and the plasters, and he cut out a "K" and i was like huh(???) and then i realised that he was cutting out my name. when i realised that he wanted to have my name tanned onto his arm, i had no idea what to say. secretly, i was happy and my heart was smiling but i refused to show it. ahahahha (: (: after he took out the plasters, my name was damn obvious on his arm! haha. and we sang nursery rhymes and discussed about how they're all actually evil in nature HAHAH, we competed to see who can get back to the seats faster without spilling the soup onto the trays that we were carrying, and walking up and down the escalator and stairs trying to run away from each other. Haha (: (: and he piggybacked me down damn a lot of stairs haha. we went to settlers after dinner with his cell group and marc laughed damn loudly when he saw nicky’s arm and said “HAHA you got branded by her!!!” and I was like “NO I DIDN’T DO IT!” hahaha.

101) N: "i love you more than anyone else"
"really?"
"yeah"
"even more than *?"
"way beyond"
"really. how much?"
"like really a lot

[:

102) nicky bluffed me that he broke a bone and wanted me over to take a look." Ah pandhi.. my back very pain. My legs also very sore! ):I might have a broken bone.. !"

Ah… maybe only.. can come and see? (:”

hahah what the hell. when i asked him "so wheres your broken bone?" he said "i dont know. somewhere in my body" HAHAHAH idiot. cheat me huhh. Haha. and there were so many relatives in his house I got a shock when I went in.

103) i said "you think i as lucky as you ah" and you replied "you know why im lucky! cause ive got you"

104) When I got 16 detentions from that bitchface. I was arguing with her in the lecture theatre after assembly. I was damn pissed. And when I finished quarrelling, I saw that nicky was the only person left from his class standing there cause he stayed behind to wait for me. He was staring at me the whole time. I just took my bag and stormed off myself. like i didnt even care that he was there. But he was really sweet (: and he offered to go for every detention with me (: but well, in the end I only went for one hahaha. and he accompanied me for that one detention! he sat somewhere where he could see my face. and when i got blocked he kept asking me to move to another seat so he can see my face. and when we could see each other clearly, he said "okay, can study better now" HAHAHA. damn retarded

105) After nicole’s birthday party last year. Nicky wanted to hang out. His dad drove us plus ant and russ to town where we caught a movie. We hung out in town and walked around till morning. And we took the first bus home and he insisted on sending me home. The whole trip I was lying on this shoulder dozing off while he was touching my right cheek THE WHOLE TIME. Hahaha. imagine when I wake up about an hour later, and he’s still touching my cheek. Haha. then he was messaging me on his way home

“Haha. ah I see the sun rising! Good morning sunshine! (:”

“Haha (: sunshine brings life on earth too. You are my sunshine in my life.. (:”

I can picture the way he says it he’s damn cute haha

ohyeah when we were out,

N: "i wanna change my tuition on saturday"

"huh why?"
N: "cause like i want my saturday free"
"but its quite free what. end at 1 then can go out after that"
N: "but i want the whole day free"
"huh why"
N: "i wanna spend the day with you"
"huh.. but its okay i dont mind really"
N: "i want!"
"hahah really.."

i remember it was like 540 am and we were at some bus stop. and we were standing up.

and he hugged me and whispered "iloveyou" into my ears.

and i smiled and replied "really?"

he smiled super sweetly and said "yes"

so i replied "how much?"

he lifted me off the ground and kissed me on my lips and said "this much" :D :D

And I woke up later on in the day to the sweetest message everrrr

“wakey wakey pretty baby.. its been 7 hours of sleep for your hot little body.. and 8 hours since i last saw that smile of yours so pretty.. oh i miss you so much already honey.. your touch your smell your voice your sight your taste.. sweetie i wish i could be with you every moment now .. :)"

i think he was trying to be poetic or something HAHA.

106) The time he sang and played more than words on the guitar for me and I felt really bad cause I realized that perhaps he was conveying his feelings through the lyrics. There was another time when he played and sang you and me by lifehouse on the piano. He looks really charming when he’s on the instruments haha.

107) he always thank me after everytime we go out. so I asked him "why do you always thank me" and he said “just thought i should appreciate every time you spend with me" <:

108) When he told me he misses me and all then I was about to reply when I accidentally called him but I didn’t realize. Haha.

“Haha cheh. I thought you miss me also then call me hmph! Haha! Then I listen. Hear some teacher talking haha!”

109) N: "what if i married you?"
"huh no.. you wont lah. you wont want to spend the rest of your life with me"
N: "why not? i want to"

N: "do you want to be miss phua?"
"no.."
N: "how bout mrs phua :D?"
"err see how hahah"

N:"im just really afraid"
"afraid of what!"
N:"losing you"

N: "i know what youre thinking. youre unconfident of our relationship. you think something will crop up"
"you think we'll last till after A's?"
"why not"
"really seriously honestly. you think we'll last for long?"
"yeah"

110) was supposed to meet nicky at jurong east to buy flowers. but i kinda knew he was on the way to my place to fetch me or something. HAHAH. so i actually kinda exposed his plan while he called me but he tried to deny and stuff. hahah. so I opened my door before he knocked and he was shocked hahah

111) the time when you tried to hit a caterpillar off the tree until it started raining and we had to run for shelter. Hahaah retard.

112) We went for dinner with ben and Jaclyn and headed to st james to see gays at gay night haha. and so many men stared at nicky all haha

113) He met me after his cip and we caught narnia before heading to ac for restless. Haah then he came to pick me after my supper and we went to timbre with the rest of his polo mates

114) "i'll have a girlfriend!"
N: "woah two time me lah"
"no lah after break up lah."
N:"woah so you think we'll break up "
"hmm yeah feelings will fade lah. "
N: "well its been five months.
"its only been five months. short time. "
N: "yeah but its still going"
"can you imagine spending years with me?"
N: "yeah why not"

"promise me you'll invite me when you get married next time"
N: "married? if i get married? what makes you think it wont be you"
"wont wan lah please"
N: "huh you think we'll break up?"
"yeah just a matter of time. you cant be with me for long."

"do you think we will last?"
N: "yeah."
"i wont get married"
N: "what if i wanna marry you"
"you wont want to marry me lah. by then you wont even be with me anymore"
N: "how you know. its been five months!"

JUNE 08

115) there was once i refused to talk to nicky and i went to valleypoint after school. he came to find me and tried to talk to me but i just kept quiet and was playing with my pen he got damn frustrated and he pushed the table HAHA i got a shock i almost laughed cause i thought it was quite funny and he was like "can you stop playing with the pen!" haha. then i stopped playing with my pen and we talked things out haha.

116) nicky came to pick me one morning and had breakfast with my mum haha. then we went to study at railmall which failed terribly. Haha. we just ended up dirtying coffeebean and subway cause we kept throwing things at each other and all. And he drew KIMBERLEY YEO, I LOVE YOU! With a smiley face wearing braces on my hand (:

117) he followed my family to a picnic and we cycled and built sandcastles together haha. and we cycled while holding hands, damn cool know. HAHA.

118) i was studying with titi and jeco at wheelock and nicky came to pick me up. then we went to plaza sing and walked around. i wanted to have dinner already but he kept delaying it but in the end we ate at somewhere and he told me that he actually called to reserve a table at fish&co glasshouse and he was waiting for them to call him back. haha. then we sat at istana park and talked about alot of things when i was just damn zzz at the way he thinks and i just walked away. i was expecting him to chase after me as usual but this time he didnt. and he messaged me later on and i realised that i really hurt him. and he was super upset and he said i didnt even turn around once to look at him. zzzzzzzz yeah i know i was a total bitch..

119) In june last year, cal asked us to play captains ball for his church. So before that nicky and I were having lunch at sushi tei. And we were talking about the past and all that. And he was saying “woah I realized how easily I could have lost you. Im really glad I told you everything” because if I had found out about him myself, I’d have left him for good. But because he told me the truth about his past, I convinced myself to accept him although it took me many months to really accept this past. But im glad he’s honest [:

120) During captains ball, there was this guy who pushed me and I was like falling. When I regained my balance, I was freaking shocked cause I saw nicky grabbing the guy’s arm and he looked damn pissed and he said “EH DUDE CAN YOU RELAX.” and he sounded very very fierce. I was damn shocked hahah. But awwww [:

121) We went to wala wala pretty late at night. After that, we acted smart and decided to walk to serene from Holland. Nice and far it was….. haha we took damn long but it was damn fun cause we took a lot of retarded photos with dfferent landmarks along the way and we even took videos to mimick mr bean in the movie mr bean holiday haha. Damn retarded. Haha

122) we baked oreo chocolate cheesecake!

123) We baked brownies! and nicky cracked an egg on himself accidentally it was freaking funny HAHAHA. but he’s a great chef yo haha.

124) he ate sambal stingray twice in less than a week cause I wanted to eat ! haha hes damn cute to try spicy stuff just for me (:

125) we were talking about someone

N: "so impatient."
"you will wait meh."
N: "if i really like the girl. i will. im like waiting now what"
"for what?"
N: "you?"
"huh for?"
N: "after A's. to make it official"

126) his phone was flat. so i met him at the front gate to go for dinner.

"ah cannot message you. i'll feel so disconnected"

127) pandhi told me two bedtime stories one night! hahah he was telling me the first one. then after a few sentences i asked him if he's reading off the net. HAHAH. and he laughed. and he asked me how i know. hahah. he was like telling some story bout a lion a tiger an elephant and a dove. and he used different voices to act out the different animals. HAHAH. quite funny. halfway through the story, the dove became a pigeon. HAHAH. then he told me the second story! which was quite funny and retarded with reference to snow white just that all the characters were pigs but there was one SMART AND COOL MAN. and he refused to name the man. hahah i bet the man was himself lah. he likes to incorporate us into the stories. what a retarddd. hahah.

128) "then dont be with me lah"
N: "but i really want to be with you"
"why do you want to be with me if i make you feel that way?"
N: "i guess cause......."
"huh?"
N: "...i guess... cause i've never loved anyone as much as i love you"
"...uhhuh. and then?"
N: "i really dont want to lose you

129) pandhi dared me to spit coke at him and i did. and so he took revenge by laying in ambush. when i came out of the toilet, he splashed alot of water at me. IDIOT. Haha

130) "omg, i love this phone!"

"ah pandhi. i love it!!"

he was damn excited when he got his new phone (which we arranged to get together. couple phone. Sweet not HAHA)

131) we went to botanics one night and lied on the bridge at the pond there. Haha. we stargazed and scolded the clouds so that they will move away and not cover the moon. We sang twinkletwinkle to make the stars come out and we tried to identify the shapes the clouds were forming. Haha. it was very fun (:

132) EMO DAY : nicky and I dressed all black and acted like we were emo kids. HAHA we went to buy many black bands somemore. Cool right. Haha. then nicky used the bands to tie our wrists together then we were inseparable! Haha everyone kept staring at us cause we were walking in a damn weird way haha especially on the bus hahaha. but we’re so cute (: anyway, we played the dart game and everytime nicky misses or loses to me he’ll start whining and running to me and being a kid hahaha. he’s cute the way he is (:

133) After zouk, gabby nicky and I went to serene for breakfast. Haha. and nicky came into the girls toilet with us all. Haha after gabby left for training, I had to go home to change for cip. Nicky sent me home and waited for me to be ready and then he sent me to school before he went home. Super sweetttt (:

134) We went to imm and saw these big moving animal thingies that you can sit on. Haha and the weight limit was 80kg. nicky and I sat on one and our vehicle moved rather slowly hahhaha maybe cause we were super overweight. Haha.

135) we had another Random adventure to chomp chomp. We just suddenly decided to go there and eat HAHA.

136) We bought similar black puma polo tees (:

137) Bought me a super cute lgm keychain from fareast (:

138) We synchronise everything on our phones. From the colours to the wallpapers etc haha.

139) We took neoprints with ben and Jaclyn and nicky kept it in his wallet and a lot of people saw it haha. and they kept teasing us but I just thought nicky was so cute to keep it in his wallet <:

140) He picked me up after ruishans party and we went to his place. And realized that val brought an injured bird home in a cage and we kept disturbing the bird. Like we used a straw and kept blowing air at him. then we feed the bird bread and all and hung a lot of tissue paper around him HAHAHA.

141) N: YOU are my one and only number 1 in my heart. My life. My all. Next to our father in heaven

.

JULY 08

142) i was supposed to go iceskating with some friends and nicky insisted on coming along and kept saying please. but i said no, cause i wanted to be with my friends. He sounded quite sad cause he really wanted to see me but he couldn’t and he said he knows that he shouldn’t be taking me away from my friends. Haha but hes so cute [:

143) there was once when nicky wanted to meet me for dinner but I was heading out. and he got upset and apologized for being selfish and said that its cause he wants to spend every moment of his life with me and that he really wants to see me.

N: “Its just that I really wish I could spend every moment with you. I know its pretty selfish but I really cant help it alright”

N: “I really do want to meet you. And when I cant meet you. I’ll really get quite jealous of people who get to see you.”

144) He wrote me a letter which had a weird rise in the middle. When I opened it, I realized that there was a metal wire folded into my name. haha and I thought he was so cute to have done that.

145) We were at the canal beside valleypoint

N: "i wish we can just stay like this forever"
"just standing here?"

haha

he told me that he was thinking about us, and what if we quarrel near exam period, and it will affect him alot and stuff.

N: "why you never hug me" so i hugged him
N: "tighter" and i did as i was told. HAHAHA

146) Accompanied me to dental and he was damn worried hahaah.

147) We went to fairfield’s funfair together.

148) Took me to the doctor when i was having diarrhea damn bad.

149) Help me organize my notes and files and all. HAHA.

150) He brought me to timbre with his poloboys[:

151) He wanted a watergun but when he put in the $1 into the slot machine thingy, a torchlight gun came out and nicky couldn’t stop complaining and whining until I gave in and went with him again to get the water gun and he was damn happy HAHA. and then he kept spraying water at me damn bad! haha

152) One night we went for dinner with nickys family. Michelle Jeremy nicky and I were sitting in the back so it was a lil squeezy. And nicky typed on his phone

“feels really nice to be so close to you" <:

the night didn’t end off well cause nicky suddenly said

"can i ask you something? have you lost feelings for me?"

he hugged me and said "you're the most important thing to me, nobody else. you're really the most important to me. really"

I was damn stoned. So I just sat on the chair and faced the wall and he got even more upset cause I wasn’t facing him. then val wanted to give me a lift out so we went off. While going up the overhead bridge he said"im sure you've lost feelings for me"

I was just like lost and didn’t know what to do and I started crying very badly and I refused to say anything. it was like damn bad. Then I decided that I wanted to leave and I refused to let him walk me to the bus stop. he ran after me and hugged me from the back.” i cant go on without you okay. i cant. “ And I just pushed him away.

AUGUST 08

153) One day, we went out and you sent me back and we sat at the playground downstairs talking till morning. Till people came to do taiji HAHA. the whole night he refused to go home and insisted on staying with me although I could tell he was freaking tired. Haha. he said that I made him wanna stay there forever. HAHA nice im sure he wants to sit there forever lah. Haha but. really very sweet <:

154) me: eh! where do you want to hold your wedding next time?
him: your house?
me: huh.. why my house?
him: cause im gonna marry you
me: err. no... i then dont wanna marry you
him: why... why you dont wanna marry me? ):
me: err.. you wanna hold the wedding at my house you think i'll marry you?
him: no lah of course not hold at your house (:
me: okay see how

155) i was supposed to go to his place to study

him: where are you?
me: bus stop
him: what are you doing?
me: nothing? its raining!
him: why dont you turn around?

and then i turned around. and he was standing on the overhead bridge steps with an umbrella [:

156) nicky surprised me! hahah he came to fetch me after my paper (: (: he waited for me at the bench near the fish pond. and i was walking with my classmates and tadah, he was there. hahah :D we were walking to the canteen when i decided i wanted to buy gummies from the cafe. so we walked back to the cafe. then when we were going down the steps, he suddenly took out a straw heart from his pocket and gave me. Hahah <:

157) we watched olympics polo together and we were supporting different teams and we couldn’t stop screaming and being excited cause the match was damn exciting hahaha.

158) MY BIRTHDAY!!

6^th august 2008

there was the national day celebrations. And nicky came to sit with me and my class [: then don’t know why halfway or some shit, the both of us were shown on the screen and we got made fun of. And I didn’t even know!! Haha. after the celebrations we went to Holland with yunting and they played checkers haha. we hung out at tea party after that. And we talked about the past once again and nicky was telling me how he always thought about me and missed talking to me even though he was attached and all. Haha. And he kinda kept rushing me off to meet my dad. And I got a lil sad. But he noticed and he stopped rushing me off. At night, he talked to me on msn and told me like he’s going to sleep happy birthday blah blah all the sweet stuff and all and messaged me and he went to bed

nicky says:

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!!!

!@#!#!@$!@#!@$!@#!@$!@#!@$!@#!@#!@$!@#!@#!@#!@#!@$!@@!#!@$!#!@#!@

LOVE YOU!!!@#!@#!@!@#!@#!@#!@$#$@$!@#@!#@!$@!#!@#!@#$@#%#$%%$^%&^%^&%$%#$!@#!!!@#@$!2#!#!#@#!@#!$!!$@##$@$%#%$@#$!@#!@#@#@%$@#$%@#%$@#%$@#$%@#$%@$%@#$%@#$%@#$%@$%@#HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU

message : HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY BABY!!! Really thanks a lot for all this time with me! And I really wish you a happy day today! Enjoy yourself as much as you can alright! (: and I’ll be seeing you for dinner! (: (: cant wait. Heh. Ah. baby. I miss you now. ): but feeling awfully tired. But not to fret. TODAY will be a tireless day alright! You’ll have a day filled with fun yes! (: take care alright pandhi! I will see you later on in the day! (: love you baby! Happy happy birthday!

Good night baby! Happy birthday again. Have fun chatting with all your friends who wished you okay?:) love you ! (:

I told him that I think jiazhi and all are coming to surprise me! Haha. but as I waited and waited, there was no surprise. But at 1 am, I received a call from jiazhi and reena that they came to surprise me but they were lost. So I went downstairs to meet them. Then jiazhi needed the toilet so I brought them up to my house then they needed to leave. I didn’t suspect anything at all! Haha while I was walking them to the lift. I walked past this area and people started singing the happy birthday song. And nicky warrick titi and marc were there! Hahaha I was damn happy!!

nicky got me a present. and after i bathed i opened it. it's a red ipod shuffle. and then there was a letter inside and another card. on the letter, he wrote my name in the way of how i sign. hahah. and he wrote the letter in green! my favourite colour haha. i read the letter and i teared. HAHAH i was super touched. he wrote a lot of stuff and the lyrics of built to last inside (: (: and he said that the song is really appropriate and he already put the song into the ipod. the letter's really really sweet and i was really really touched. hahah. i sat on my chair thinking bout the whole thing, how they collaborated and stuff and how i dint suspect anything at all. hahah

when nicky got home, he called me. and then he told me about the whole thing. like why he kept asking me if i want to go back when we were at teaparty. it was cause he wanted to go to the lana cake shop and get my birthday cake. but he was scared that i'll be upset like he kept wanting to leave so he stopped. and then after i left, he got to the lanacakeshop and it was closed already. so he drove to secret recipe and got a cake. he told me like he planned to come alone to surprise me actually. but then marc asked him if he's gonna come surprise me. and so marc gathered like everyone together and planned everything. marc planned to surprise me at like 1245. so that i'll be disappointed first then surprised. hahah nicky told me like when marc got to his home to fetch him, he was still on the phone with me and like he had to reject marc's call and pretend he's going to bed first. hahha. and they all met at my house downstairs to discuss first. and the boys were hiding on the sixth level. when they saw that i was walking to the park, then they went up to the 11th level to hide. when i was coming out of the lift, they havent finish lighting the candles and so they ran and hid again. hahah. then he told me like

marc : eh where should i park my car ah. later she look out of her window and see my car
nicky: she will never look out her window

"eh maybe we should sing to her from the field!"
nicky: she stays on the twelfth floor

"i know. we can call her mum and then we hide in her room"
nicky: she'll be using her com and its right in front of the door

know me so well all (:

so then nicky told me like he engraved something on the back of the ipod and asked me to see. "kim :) XOXO" HAHAH i laughed when i saw that. then he was telling me that he wanted to get me the red nano and why he dint in the end. and i thought that it was really thoughtful of him. hahah. (:

the next day, he came to pick me up from vivo after my lunch and we went to Marriott for buffet! He gave me more presents just minutes before my birthday was over. Like a heartshaped mirror which he coloured red and a moleskine sketchbook with a letter written on one of the pages. [: and at the last minute of my birthday, we were walking along orchard and he just stopped and hugged me really tightly and planted many kisses on my forehead till my birthday was over [:

and he insisted that val came to pick him cause he wanted to drive me home haha.

we met again the next day and he told me that he went to the lanacake shop again cause he wanted to get me a cake but he wasn’t able to cause you have to preorder. Haha and I thought he was really sweet <: we went to ikea and he bought all the food that i felt like eating! and ohyeah, i was thinking that i wouldnt mind chocolate banana cake for my birthday and he bought it! hahah but i never told anyone what cake i wanted. so he thinks hes damn good now cause he can read my mind. HAHAH. and he bought me a daim cake to cut. and used his handphone's light as a candle. must blow until the light goes off. HAHAHAH.

159) The time when nicky asked me to go over to his place for dinner and told me that the cars weren’t at home so I have to walk up and I was like what the. Nice. First time he ask me to walk up he doesn’t love me anymore ): after I alighted, I was walking when suddenly someone hugged me from the back and I knew it was nicky! (: haha and he was saying how he’d never let me walk up myself and all haha. and asked if I was surprised. Yes I was! (:

160) “Rise and glow baby! Dont sleep too much. Wake wake up up! Bzzt bzzt!”

like whats with the bzzt bzzt HAHA

161) the first time i had tuition, he watched tv with my brother. AHAA and he said time spent with him is wasteful haha. damn bad. Then he said he took a few peeks to see if I was done with tuition ahha.

SEPTEMBER 08

162) One day, we saw cal sitting in the hub quite a distance away. so pandhi called cal and disturbed him and pandhi refused to tell cal where he was. so cal was like looking around and around and trying to find pandhi. then we texted cal "cal why you flirt............" HAHAH like twenty five times each. HAHAH then cal continued to look around frantically and he even went on a search for us, and he walked past our table but dint see us. HAHAH then we messaged "cal why you never reply........." HAHAHAH we were laughing like some retards and cal's reactions were rather funny. so when we decided to leave we went to talk to cal and he showed us his inbox. 46 unread messages HAHAHA he said he gave up reading. Haha.

163) nicky says:
u can get the queen of hearts and i can get the king of hearts
nicky says:
:D
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahah why?
nicky says:
cause the queen and king go together.
KIMBERLEY(: says:
hahah really who say
nicky says:
and both hearts
nicky says:
...
nicky says:
ok fine...
nicky says:
go with the jack la
KIMBERLEY(: says:
HAHA kidding lah
nicky says:
jack is the third party lah
nicky says:
HAHAH
nicky says:
di san zhe

164) we were building the highest towers and steadiest structures with wooden blocks, playing bowling with wooden blocks as pins and marbles as the bowling ball, and playing floor-tennis with wooden blocks as the net. hahaha i swear we are damn retarded. the pingpongball was like flying everywhere, and it dropped into the soup on the table which was actually meant for nicky. HAHAHA

165) there was once we fought while on the way to a movie. Haha. I cant remember over what! But anyway. At first we refused to talk to each other until the movie started

suddenly, nicky clung on to me. and leaned on me. and held my hand really tightly. i just sat there, and did nothing.
he let go and sat up straight, again i did nothing.
he grabbed my arm and came close to me said "can you dont ignore me please"
i stoned for awhile and said "i never"
and he replied "yes. you are how cold to me. dont ignore me please" and he kept rubbing his face on my shoulder.
i replied "okay.."
and he held my hand really tightly and said "please. can you please dont leave me. please"
i stoned again, and said "i wont okay"
and i remember that pair of eyes, that looked so sad.
and thankful at the same time.

.

166) HONOURS NIGHT : I went to study at night at the macs near my house. After nicky was done with honours night

he called and told me he was going home. But he came to find me at macs and he looked really nice in the blazer and all. Haha he came so that we can take pictures together. haha. I was very proud of him cause he had the sports scholarship [:

167) was supposed to meet pandhi in town and then have dinner at glasshouse. but i refused to get out of my house cause i was being spiteful. hahahah. and i slept the whole day away till like 5 plus when he came over to surprise me![: i was really surprised hahah. i dint expect him to come over at all. hahah. and then he spent a very long time pacifying me cause i refused to talk to him and i refused to go fish&co. HAHAH. in the end, i blamed him cause i dint get to eat my fish&co. HAHAHAH. oh and some stuff he said was really sweet! [: anddd he bought me a box of 12 macarons from canele and we folded paper aeroplanes and threw them out of the window. HAHAH

168) Nicky and I swopped our jackets. So he wears my ac pullover while I wear his waterpolo jacket [:

169) We swopped our crumplers too. Nicky likes my crumpler haha. Even with the lgm on it. when I wanted to take the lgm off, he didn’t let me and said he wanted it on the crumpler! Haha. and he refused to switch the crumplers back.. haha.

170) he piggybacked me in the mrt station and everyone looked at us. Haha it was damn funny cause we both fell afterwards HAHA.

171) nicky came to pick me up from my home early one morning and we had breakfast before heading to sentosa! his class and the ogls were having an outing so we were supposedly going separately but well AC SPIRIT, everyone ended up together. haha. nicky and i wore the same shirt after we changed and we got teased... haha. we went to vivo for dinner separately but he came to find me later on and became the cameraman for us (: and he wrote nicky (heartshape) kim on the condensation on a glassdoor <:

OCTOBER 2008

172) i was telling nicky about my dream( in which he died cause he had some genetic disease which led to him having an unusual number of cell count) HAHAH. and then like always we 'pretend crying'. hahah he was like "boohoo you dreamt that i died" and i was like "boohoo i was very sad okay" hahaha and then cause he was sitting opposite me right, and i was using my right hand to eat the fries. THEN SUDDENLY HE HELD MY RIGHT HAND AND PULLED IT ACROSS TO HIS FACE AND PLACED MY HAND ON HIS FACE AND SAID "IF I DIE TONIGHT, I LOVE YOU" AND MY FINGERS WERE ON HIS FACE. I STARED AT HIM BLANKLY FOR 2SECONDS BEFORE I BURST OUT LAUGHING HAHAHAH. MY OILY FINGERS WERE LIKE ON HIS FACE MAYBE. HAHAH. THEN HE WAS LIKE "WAHLAO WHY YOU NEVER STOP ME" hahahah <:

173) we get super excited playing five ten and all the slapping games haha

174) when we played name hunt and bingo with jiazhi and nicky tried to cheat but ended up being the ultimate loser HAHA.

175) that time i was sleeping... in the library like right next to him. then i was sleeping so soundly then he texted me and i woke up but i dint check my phone. i went back to sleep. then he took my phone and put it on my face. so i checked it and the message said something like "love you! sleep well! (:" like WHAT THE MAYBE HE WOKE ME UP STILL SLEEP WELL. hahahah.

176) nicky came to the library to find me and we went to eat lunch. left all my stuff in the library. joanne called and said that they'll bring my stuff to class. so nicky walked me to class and then i realised that joanne and yunting werent here yet. so i walked out to look for them and then i saw them and i ran to them and took my stuff. and thats when... i realised that THEY TOOK MY BAG(which nicky is using) HAHAHAH and they took his file too(hahah its instinctive!). so we stood there laughing like idiots before superman nicky came to save me and save himself and save the day. hahah

177) pandhi splashed water at me and got me wet. so i said i wanted to go to the toilet. and then when i came out, he was looking at the boards, so i walked towards him with my hands holding water. before i got to him, HE RAN. omg i got a shock. HAHAHAH. not bad quite smart ah idiot. then cheryl saw me trying to fill my hand with water and said we were childish HAHAH. then i was running after him and jingwen and cherylkoh laughed at us and said we were like kids.

178) Sent me some shit mms to say goodmorning. And my classmates laughed when I showed it to them haha.

179) we were in the library when he went to get tissue for me. he found this paper with "so cute" written on it on his bag. he brought it up and showed it to me and said "why you put this on my bag" ……… HAHA. we never found out who put the paper there. haha.

karen said "the two of you very cute” :D

180) we played monopoly and nicky tried to cheat. Rob the bank all and take so much salary and refused to pay when he stepped into my property somemore charge me higher when I step into his. HAHA. asshole. But its damn fun to play games with him cause he always cheats and ends up losing. HAHAHA.


181) we hung out after baccalaureate and went to catch a movie and panpan was very sweet to want to spend time with me even tho we were so near A's. haha.

NOVEMBER 2008 (much of oct and nov was spent studying at valleypoint with jz, cel, yixuan etc. we always barely studied. and end up laughing, playing and talking too much. haha. really miss all the dinners and fun we used to have there.

182) One day before gp. I thought hes studying until he called me

N: "can you please let me use your toilet? very urgent"
"HUH. what you talking about?"
N: "please can i use your toilet please?"
"HUH WHAT?!"
N: "can i please use your toilet now please please please"

I opened my door and saw him outside… HAHA.

He gave me a can of coke. Cause I told him I was craving for coke. Haha.

He hugged me for quite long before I ask him if he needs the toilet then he was like YES! And ran off. HAHA <: super cute.

183) when we first got our entry proof, he photocopied mine. and he photocopied quite a few pieces. he kept some and gave the rest to me. haha he called to remind me to bring my entry proof for A's. and I told him that I packed already but “nevermind i'll still bring for you, just in case “ hahah. <:

184) durings A's, i went out to watch a movie after my bio paper. nicky got really upset cause he was telling me that he really missed me before i went for my paper and i said i missed him too. he got upset cause i said i missed him but i didnt go over to visit him and i went to watch a movie instead. and cause i thought he was being damn unreasonable, i refused to reply him. and i made him really really upset. And he couldn’t study. and i refused to talk to him the next day and he came over to surprise me [:

185) a few days later, nicky went to watch a movie while I was studying and I just felt like he purposely wanted to get back at me. So I didn’t care. Then I was home using the computer when suddenly he knocked on the door. I opened the door and saw him and I was damn shocked. He took the car and drove over without permission!

"i really wanted to see you. i couldnt study when i cant see you. i really realised that i needed you. you dont know how much you mean to me. i already planned to drive and come here to see you before the movie.”

His mum called later on and he had to go home. Haha but it was the first step to them letting nicky drive alone haha.

186) “yeah see. relationships are so fragile"
N: "hm yeah... i guess. life itself is fragile too... but i know our love is not! :)

187) val: where you going?
nicky: valleypoint
val: you go there for what?
me: i still have paper on monday
val: oh.. then you go for what(to nicky) disturb her right
nicky: NO. MOTIVATION OKAY.

HAHAHAHA. He went there to play games the whole day maybe. Haha

188) And during that period of time I keep wanting to eat bakkutteh and he just follow me. Haha. actually whatever I wanna eat, he’ll make sure I get to (:

189) he drove me home and walked me home and then he stood outside the door for super long, waving and saying bye. hahaha. damn funny. then he was like "eh i want chocolate" so he stood outside eating chocolate. we said bye like super alot of times and kept waving and he was still outside, for super long. and then in the end, he had stomachache HAHAH. So he had to use the toilet. HAHA.

190) he knows that I love surprises so he always surprises me until one day he said "i go surprise you okay? HAHA

191) my notes were filled with his retarded drawings. Like his fat bee with small wings and tiny legs. an army tank running over people. And many pigs. HAHA etc etc. I must say he has got much talent in art haha.

192) he wrote this on my paper too

“You bring out the best in me

like no one else can do

That’s why im by your side

That’s why I love you”

(:

193) we bought the same pens for A's! HAHA. nicky always wanted to have things that i have. haha which is really cute. like OUR PHONES/HAVIS etc. haha.

194) he’ll accompany me when I have paper in the morning(he’ll come at 7 to accompany me till I enter the exam hall. Even though his paper is in the afternoon. And he’ll always be outside the exam hall when I come out (: so sweet of him to always wait for me <:

195) Once, I had lunch with him before his paper. And it was raining. So he walked me with a borrowed brolly to my bus stop before he went back for paper (:

196) He’ll always wait for my papers to finish and send me home/go for lunch or dinner. Somemore during exams, he still watch tv with me HAHA.

DECEMBER 08

197) PROM and POST PROM :

we were doing retarded dances the whole night. Plus tango and etc haha. it was damn fun. And he wore a yellow tie which was compatible with my dress [:

Shuwen : "eh the way yall dance very cute i wanted to join in” haha

198) when nicky got back from US, he called me at the airport and i could hear from his voice that he was really sad that i didnt pick him up. and he told me that he's very sad that we're not gonna meet. but i surprised him later on with ther around 3 am! and nicky was really super happy to see me. haha. started off with a really long hug before he told me how he was very sad and how mean i am to him cause he thought that i'd pick him up at the airport. and then when he messaged me, i didnt really reply and didnt really want to talk to him cause i was busy and how much he missed me haha. we hung out by the pool and stargazed and talked till morning and went for macs breakfast! haha

199) One of the presents he got for me from the states was a pair of turtle earrings. He said he bought me those cause he remembered about the neonturtle that I drew in 2007 [: he also bought me a box of mints with my name on it. a cute little pig made from some rare stone or something. Haha and dark chocolates which I really love

200) when i came back from cambodia, nicky was there to pick me up! haha he's so cute to check the flight details and all and waited for me at the arrival place. haha.

201) wanted to buy a wallet from f21 for me just cause I said it was nice. Luckily I stopped him. haha.

202) when he came back from bintan, he came to my house straight away to find me (:

203) nicky called from newyork at 12 am Singapore time (christmas)to wish me happy one year anniversary (:

204) we played charades and it was damn funny and russ opened the door to see us playing charades and he was like -_-“ HAHA. had some drinking thing by the pool with the polo boys and so he couldn’t drive and send me home. he walked me out to the bus stop at around 7am. and then when my bus came, he dint let go of my hand, and i was like trying to shake it off, AND THEN HE WENT UP THE BUS WITH ME and i felt like slapping him. hahahah. he's so silly he was like dead tired lah and he still sent me home. but very very sweet :D

205) I have a tracker thing that can see how people come to my blog and all the different stats etc.

nicky says:
eh pandhi check ur counter again!
nicky says:

or ur tracker
KIMBERLEY(: says:
haha why
nicky says:
checkk!!
nicky says:
see if anybody search for u and find ur blog

so i went to check my counter and found that someone came to my blog by searching this

www.google.com.sg/search?hl=en&q=nicky really really really loves kimberley yeo wan ting %21%21%21%21%21 %3AD%3AD&btnG=Google Search&meta=

hahaha and then

KIMBERLEY(: says:
HAHAHAH
KIMBERLEY(: says:
:D
nicky says:
huh?
nicky says:
hahah
nicky says:
what
nicky says:
why u suddenly laugh then smile
nicky says:
ehh i wanna see eh
nicky says:
can i see?

i sent him the link.

nicky says:
HAHHAHAH!
nicky says:
actually got !!! and (: (:
nicky says:
they never put.. ):

so the %%% were his punctuation marks. hahahah. (:

206) he stayed over at my place. And we spent the whole night playing games online. Haha. he wanted to accompany me to the airport in the morning cause I was leaving for Cambodia. But in the end, the he couldn’t come along cause the cab was just nice for four. Haha. but he’s a very sweet panpan (:

207) one day, ITUNES WAS PLAYING THE SONG TIDE IS HIGH. NICKY WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR PLAYING COM WHILE I WAS ON THE SOFA EATING AND THEN HE LOOKED AT ME AND DID SOME ACTION(like point at himself and me and shake his index finger(number one) HAHA) AND SANG "IM GONNA BE YOUR NUMBER ONE" HAHAAH I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING.

208) we both met at about 6pm but before we met, he was like complaining that the day is so short and apologizing for sleeping till so late hahaha. cause like there's no transport home after 12 so we have to go back by 12. but i told him like the day is still young man cause we sleep at like 5am and we'll always be talking till we sleep what. hahah.

"but our time physically together ends at twelve :( and if you're talking about that. our time together never ends!

JANUARY 09

209) i was upset with him. and i was over at leon's playing poker until like 10 plus am in the morning. i went home, and my grandma told me that nicky came over and left. he messaged me and asked me where i was before i got home. and i only knew that he came over when i got home. and i was like awww. he told me that he came to look for me but i wasnt home so he went to town to walk around and then when I asked him what was he doing in town. He told me he was on the bus back. But minutes later, he knocked on my door!<: and then I was very tired so he told me bedtime stories and watched me sleep [:

210) We went to the supermarket and I wanted to buy seventeen. So I opened it up and browsed and the kaypo nicky wanted to see too. Then we flipped to this page that says something like what girlfriends shouldn’t do or say. And nicky was like, reading through and he was like “omg, Im buying this magazine” … -_-“ so in the end we bought the magazine and I thought we were so cute reading a magazine together. And we were reading the part that interested him so much. And he was like “you always do this!”, “you did that too”, “you did everything that they say girlfriends shouldn’t do. Sigh” and he shooked his head. And he started whining about how bad I am to him etc etc I just wanted to slap him. Hahahaha. When nicky whines, he’ll be like a kid throwing a tantrum. He’ll frown and pout and talk in a tone and manner that’s damn childlike. And if I laugh at him he’ll hit me with the pillow or something. Haha. And he made me promise I wouldn’t be so bad to him anymore. Haha.

211) When we play marvel vs capcom on ps. HAHA. and ther and val joined us. Damn exciting HAHA.

212) He still surprises me after his polo training (:

213) His expression when he saw all his friends during the surprises on his birthday was realllllllyyyy priceless <:

214) We went stargazing at his poolside but there were no stars and he was trying to tell me the story about him almost losing his camera. and he repeated "and then i was very tired", "and then i was extremely tired" like twenty thousand million times. and i decided i dont want to hear anymore and walked back to his house myself. HAHAHA. and then he messaged me and said i was very mean. And I had to comfort him HAHA.

215) When we went shopping for the hamsters and trying to leash the hamsters and trying out different ways to let them run around the house etc. and we definitely had many trying times trying to get them out of holes -_-“ stupid hamsters. haha

FEBRUARY 09

216) there was once i was upset with nicky and i refused to talk to him. but he knew i was going to newton to have dinner with jiazhi and nat. after dinner, jiazhi and i walked nat to the bus stop, and started walking towards town when someone tapped me on the shoulder and it was nicky!! He told me that he came to newton, found me, sat a distance away and actually sat there waiting for me(more like stalking haha) to finish dinner. <:

217) Nicky was working and I went to his house for dinner after he came back from work. Then his daddy came home and nicky kept signaling to me to follow him into the kitchen. Then I was too lazy to get up from the couch so I just sat there. Then nickys mum said to his dad that nicky has no more work already. And I was like ?!?!?!?!? why nicky never tell me!!! So I went to the kitchen and wanted to kill him. AHAH I started strangling him and he was like “I wanted to surprise you at orientation tomorrow!” and my heart melted (: haha super sweetttt right.

218) When nicky tried to learn the mass dance with me, it was hilarious but damn fun! Haha. and nicky was very nice to accompany me to campfire although he was very bad cause he made me miss my last bus after supper cause he wanted to send me home. that was the night we lost the hamsters in this hole in the cabinet and we spent 3 hours trying to get it out. awesomezzz. hahaha.

219) I had this picture of some girl and myself. And he wanted it cause he said I look really adorable there. So he kept that picture in his wallet. I remembered when marc saw it, he was like DOOD, why do you have this picture in your wallet, you’re not even inside. HAHA. And he wrote me a letter on green paper for one of the monthsaries, and right smacked in the middle is a scanned and printed version of that picture of me( he cropped the other girl out hahaha) and that has gotta be the longest and sweetest letter everrrrrr as he wrote a long list of “I love the way you….” Eg :” I love the way you smile. I love the way you make me smile. i love the way you love me ETC ETC “ And nice there was one line that was “I love the way you’re smart and I love the way you act smart” HAHAHA idiot. But it was seriously the sweetest letter ever I cried as I read it. cause I was super touched hahaha. and he rolled the paper up and tied a cute pink ribbon around. Like some degree all. Haha.

220) Nicky kept telling me that I should play netball again and he was probably why I decided to join sneakers. He was damn supportive and even went jogging with me to build up my stamina. He also always fetched me to training and fetched me from training [:

221) He took me to Keppel bay for our 14^th month. He kept checking the time and wished me happy 14^th month at 12 midnight. Haha. And he gave me the sweetest letter there’s gotta be <:

222) After nicky’s class outing, he told me he was heading home. and i knew he

was gonna come over to visit me HAHAHA. so when there was knocking

on the door, i opened the door and said THIS IS YOUR HOUSE AH. and he said YEAH. hahah

223) one morning, I was supposed to accompany nicky to the doctor to check his nose. But I was still sleeping when suddenly I was awakened by a damn bright flash. That idiot used my camera to flash into my face to wake me up. AHAHA

224)

VALENTINES DAY: I had this feeling that nicky was gonna bring me to botanics. When he asked me where do I think hes bringing me I said botanics but he dint look shocked or anything so I guessed maybe not. But in the end, he drove me to botanics HAHA. telepathy or what. He planned a picnic for us [:

225) One day, he came over and I was bathing cause I was heading out for tuition. And he was supposed to be doing a medical checkup. When I came out of the bathroom and walked into the living room , I saw him standing at my computer desk and I was like !!?!? hahah.

226) We baked a chocolate fudge cake! haha

MARCH 09

227) We caught ants for ants birthday together. HAHA

228) we were supposed to go bowling, but i had sore eyes. and i was quite upset about it cause i never had sore eyes before!!! and i knew i kept rubbing my eyes when i was sleeping but i didnt know that this would happen. haha then i was being very angsty cancelling the bowling thing and asking nicky to stay home. so i was sleeping but i woke up cause nicky woke me up! he came to visit me (: so sweet right. not scared that i would pass the sore eyes to him!

229) There was a period of time that I kept saying I wanted a sewing machine. Haha. I was in Melbourne when nicky sent me a really cute email and he was telling me that he bought me a small gift. When I came back to Singapore, I saw this really huge box on my table but I didn’t do anything about it until my brother said that the box belongs to me and I was like “omg. Nicky phua did you buy that for me. its not small at all” and he was like yupp, and told me to open it. imagine my face when I saw the sewing machine! Haha. Really damn sweet of him. hahaha. he took great pains to get that huge heavy box to my house mannn. Haha. the sewing maching was full of love and it even comes with a love letter with a super-flying-pig and my address on it haha super cute [: [:

230) Nicky asked his mum if he could fetch me to the airport and his mum agreed so he got the car and picked me from my house with my luggage and all to his place where we had dinner before going to the airport. [: when I was melbourne, he texted me everyday and sent me cute emails and one email had like ten thousand million spaces until you reached the end which had a heart shape made out of dots and he said “connect the dots. You might get something” haha. <: when I got back from Melbourne, I saw him at the arrival gate and he helped me with my luggage and all. While we were on the escalator I noticed that he looked very sad so I asked him if everything’s okay and he said “you never hug me” and I was like aww… and gave him a big hug and he told me how much he missed me <: he carried my super heavy luggage and all up to the car and up to my house [:

231) We went late to collect our A’s results. I remember how freaked out he was when his classmates called and told him that he failed gp. Hahaha. but anyway he did really well and I was super proud of him. Haha I remember we were wearing the blue collegiate and white shorts together. And nicky held my hand while we were walking around in school and I was like awww. Haha [:

232) Nicky ran from his house to my house to surprise me (: its insanely far by the way. haha

233) He picked me up from plaza sing one night, sent me home, and pretended that he was going home. So I was using my computer when he called and asked me to look out of the window. And there he was on the field right below. Standing beside KIM I (HEART) U which he made out of lightsticks. I was freaking touched I couldn’t stop saying omg omg omg. HAHA. and I hurried downstairs to give him a big big hug cause he’s the sweetest boy ever (:

234) He wanted to go NUS cause I wanted to go there even though his parents wanted him to go to smu haha.

235) nicky wanted to go with me to chinatown. his daddy dropped him off at little india, and he arrived at chinatown wayyyy too early so he took a train backwards. and then he waited for the train that i was on at tiong and he entered some random carriage and began walking towards where i was when he dint even have a clue where i was. so i called him and i said "eh you go into the middle, got left and right how you know which side im on!" before he could really reply, he found me. and i was sitting down somemore. (: he took like less than 1 minute to find me he’s a super pandhi haha.

236) we went for a picnic at botanics and we brought a lot of food. Haha it started raining halfway and we had to move indoors. Haha we had much fun playing cards and dissecting an ant. We went to watch Marley and me after that and I cried damn badly nicky got rather worried but later on went to tell his friends I cried damn badly cause of the show. HAHAHA idiot.

237) We baked a chocolate truffle cake!

238) Nicky was supposed to pick me up from my place. But he took one million years to come from his dental(bedok)

so i was worried like he got into an accident or something. so i messaged him and asked him "where are you?" and he replied "in the ayer ayer" -_____-" and i replied "... what!" and he said "at home la why" and i was like............. HUH!!!!! but before i could reply, someone knocked damn hard on my door. I KNEW IT. HAHAHAHA and once again i opened the door and said YOUR HOUSE AH [:

239) We bought kites and went to west coast park to fly kites. Haha It was damn fun. At first we kept running around trying to get the kites up but all failed terribly. Haha then after that we tried to act smart and fly each kite individually. And we actually succeeded and my kite went higher than nicky’s and he said I was cheating… hahah. Halfway my kite got stuck in the tree and nicky tried really hard to get it down for me but it really couldn’t come down. Haha we ditched the kites and went to play at the playgrounds and all. Haha macs afterwards before we realized that it was gonna rain so we hurriedly left and while walking to the bus stop it started pouring and we screamed and ran to the bus stop it was damn funny hahaha. and we were like shivering but he kept me warm (:

240) nicky: why you never tell me! zhen tao yan! ( HAHAHA) quick come find me bee! i hiding!
me: HAHAH okay, i'll catch you soon
nicky: haha nice pun there
me: okay lah. reaching already. see you.
nicky: okay can you find me! here got dragonball (just cause there was this guy who spiked his hair pretty damn high haha)

241) jem was asking me if I were gonna get a tattoo and all. And nicky was like NO CANNOT. Haha then jem said like “like as if she cares about what you say” then I just didn’t say anything. then nicky got a bit sad cause i dont care about what he thinks haha. and I was like of course I wont get a tattoo!

242) we went to merlion walk one night and that place is very pretty (:

243) he brought me to timbre with his poloboysss again [:

244) after a movie with his friends, they wanted to go for lan and i kept asking nicky to go but he dint want to. after one hundred years of persuading him. he said he'd go after he sent me to the bus stop. and i refused. after one thousand years of being insistent on going to the bus stop myself, and i was like gonna get angry already. he finally gave in and went to play lan hahaha

APRIL 09

245) When we went to ubin to cycle. My towel got caught in the wheel and I fell off my bike and got a cut on my knee. Nicky was damn concerned he washed my wound and put a plaster on it although I insisted that I didn’t want it. haha. and he wanted me to cycle in front so that he could kinda watch over me but I refused to. Haha. im just damn stubborn

246) We went clubbing with his friends plus my friends combined [:

247) We wanted to go to some icecream buffet thing near ruzz’s house but we couldn’t find it so we went to visit ruz. He was damn shocked to see us plus he told us that the place closed down already so nicky and I went to Dempsey instead haha.

248) We went to the zooooooo and had a lot of fun before going for a bbq at pamonster’s house [:

249) Russ and pam were telling me about how nicky really likes me and stuff. Then last time nicky didn’t give a shit about anything in his previous relationships. And now, when we have problems, he’ll talk to people about them. So they think that nicky really cares about me and really loves me. Haha. and the way russ says it is super convincing. And I was just like… oh okay.. and felt really lucky like I’ve always been. Hah.

250) My family loves him. they kept asking about him when he enlisted. Haha

MAY 09

251) once I was working at valleypoint. And celeste was working there too but another level. I knew that nicky was gonna book out that morning. But we didn’t arrange to meet or anything. when i was coutning the papers suddenly someone said “EXCUSE ME” and I looked up. And I was damn surprised to see nicky!! Hahe he actually called celeste to find out which level I was working at and he came to surprise me. Superrrr sweet(: (:

252) after rugby finals

claire: so what you guys gonna do now? have romantic dinner right
me: no lah.
nicky: what you talking about? EVERY MEAL WE HAVE IS ROMANTIC!
me: ... (turned away, dont know whether to laugh or what)
claire: (stunned)
nicky: EH! (and hit me) WHY YOU TURN AWAY! ):

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

253) nicky was supposed to go for some family dinner. And I was going for a netball game. After I finished the game, I saw nicky waiting for me with a big umbrella cause it was raining. I was like awwww. Haha then he fetched me to his grandmother’s house for dinner. And I was like

“shitttt. Omg this is the first time im gonna meet your whole family”

N: “yay! Cause we’re gonna get married!”

And I was just like -_____-“ and he started whining and all about me not wanting to marry him again hahaha.

254) and while i was working at ben&jerrys, a botak in blue came and surprised me(when he was supposedly sleeping) and said "hi, i want to try all the flavours" -______-" and i replied "SORRY I DONT WANT TO SERVE YOU" hahhahaha.

nicky wore a blue shirt and blue havis just like me! but we didnt coordinate. telepathy, HAHAAH.

me: why you wear blue slippers?
nicky: cause i wearing blue shirt
me: why you wear blue shirt?
nicky: cause i remember you say you have a blue shirt and you dont like the orange one.
me: orh.

[:

255) nicky snatched the whole bag of chips away from me and i was like "YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!" and he came to me, and said this "i love you baby, i really do" and kissed my hand.hahaha

256) When we kept imitating bob from monsters vs aliens. Its damn funny haha.

JUNE 09

257) I was having a netball game on a Monday night. And nicky was supposed to book out that night. But I wasn’t texting him cause I was already preparing at kallang. After the second quarter, I had to take a break cause my knees were giving me hell lot of problems and I had to ice them. That was when I saw at the corner of the court, nicky was there. And he started walking towards me and he was damn worried about my knees and he helped me ice them. And I was damn surprised that he came! I mean, he didn’t even know which court I was playing at and all, he asked Gillian. Haha. And then I played the fourth quarter and after the game, he was telling me that im damn good and all that. He was like “no im serious. You’re like the best on the team lah” Hahaha. I was so flattered. Haha. and the way he said it was damn convincing haha

258) woke up at 7 cause nicky messaged me. he asked me to call him when i wake up so i did. and he told me a bedtime story! hahahaha. as usual, it involves pigs and himself and me.

the story was quite cute till he came to

" THENNN, there was this guy called nicky phua. he was…….. quite dashing" HAHAHA

259) ever since i've been working at ben&jerrys, nicky has been picking me up from work alot, although he's always claims he's very busy and tired and all that and gives excuses about not being able to pick me, he'll always show up to send me home. and he even helped me clean the store once haha. free labour.

260) the first time he came to pick me at oc, i saw him perspiring like crazy when he walked in. and i was like -_-" "raining is it." and he said, "i climbed all the way up eh". b&j's on the eighth floor. he doesnt know that the lift was still working so he climbed all the way up. Hahah.so silly but so sweet (:

261) the first time I ever puked while clubbing cause I drank 10 lychee martini, 5 tequila shots and 4 coke vodka. HAHA. and celeste called nicky to come pick me up. And celeste was speaking in some accent cause she was shit high haha. Nicky sent me all the way home and made sure I was safely tucked in bed before he let himself out haha. [:

JULY 09

262) I surprised him together with his mum one Sunday morning after he booked out. We went to fetch nicky together. When he heard that I was still going to tuition and going to work in the afternoon he started whining and saying “what about me” haha

263) Nicky sent me a pretty long email from ocs camp and I was really surprised [:

264) nicky wrote nicky loves kim on a surface covered with dust (:

-

265 ) Everytime he gets on the bus, or when we part, he’ll message or call. When he gets home, he’ll definitely call me. Haha

266) He always thanks me for loving him (:

267) He always calls me very cute stuff like “baby”, “rainbow”, “sunshine” “sweetie pie with sugar coat” “honey pie sugar fries” HAHA

268)He lets me tie his hair and he wears hairband or do stuff(like combing his eyebrow) to amuse me/ make me laugh haha.

269) he used to throw paper balls at me from a distance in school/ while studying.

270) Me: must invite me to your wedding kay!

Nicky: Don’t need, you’ll be there. I’ll be marrying you

271) N: “you’re my longest and my last”

272) There was once when I sneezed into his food, accidentally. And I was like shit…. And I wanted to buy him a new plate but he continued eating and said it tastes better. HAHAHA. its damn gross but its damn sweeeeetttt okayz hahaha.

273) we were gonna order havis online and then I was looking through the female designs and nicky wanted the same ones as me! HAHA so cute right. But in the end, the order failed or something and we didn’t get out havis ): haha

274) times he locked my arm with his so that I cannot run away from him haha

275) I like all the lullabies he sings and bedtime stories he tells me. They make me very happy before I sleep (:

276) I don’t think anyone is as sweet as nicky seriously. All his messages can make you melt into a puddle man. Haha.

277) He always make me walk on the inside while walking on pavements. Cause its safer.. hahaha. and he will make sure I cross the road safely haha.

278) nicky says:

you're really all my heart is for now.

279) When nicky deleted all the photos of his past. I was like… ?!?!?@!@! But he did it to prove to me how much he loves me and that im the only one in his life. <:

280) marc seah said. " you know all the girls nicky were with last time. he never really did like them. he said he did, he think he did. but actually he didnt. But i can tell its really different this time. i just can tell. and he's really different this time, i can see that he's changed. and i can see that he honestly likes you”

281) celeste : "someone went to ask nicky eh are you serious about kim or not and nicky said maybe last time i was playing. but this time im really serious. kim is really the one"

282) N: "i love you"
"okay (:"
"i dont want to say it too much if not it will lose its meaning you know. i just want you to know that i really mean it"

283) He skips his lessons to spend time with me and he’ll spends his breaks with me even though I asked him to spend time with his classmates. Haha. (: but I’ll always ask him to go be with his class and although reluctant, he will haha. obviously cannot neglect other friends righttt. haha

284) He writes letters in green ink or on green paper cause green is my favourite colour! [:

285) Always surprises me when im out <: like how he turned up when I met jiazhi at great world. And how he turned up when I was at harbourfront with joanne and yunting (:

286) Told nicky that I feel like im being more dependent on him and he was like huh what do you mean. And I said like like I rely on him more, and want to see him more and all that. And he replied “woah then like that im damn dependent on you lah” (:

287) all the times he had to take cab home cause he sent me home late at night, or came over to surprise me at night.


288) we will sit in the void deck at different tables. but he will always sit facing me and he'll keep smiling at me. [:

289) i appreciate the times he sat with my class so that he can spend time with me. and i really am glad that he took the effort to get to know my classmates. [:

290] he always wants to eat what i eat, and like what i like. he started taking spicy stuff cause i asked him to try haha. he'll always ask me like "what you want to eat?" then i'll say maybe "fish and chips" then he'll say "okay, i eat also" haha damn retarded

291) everytime when we are going out, he will ask me what colour i'm wearing and he'll wear the same colour. Haha so cute right haha.

292)there were times when he surprised me in the library while i was "studying" haha. and he'll buy me sweets that i like, but he ends up eating them more than i do HAHA. he'll always keep my favourite colours for me like yellow and green haribo haha.

293)he notices that i dont go to school super early. like during assembly he noticed already. somemore like my class quite far behind his. haha. maybe its cause i never reply his messages. but when we first started out, like we dont message that often. then sometimes i just damn random cannot wake up for school then when i wake up i'll see messages like "you never come to school right!" and i'll be like HOW YOU KNOW and he'll say I NOTICE. haha.


294) when i dont go to school and go to valleypoint after i wake up to study, nicky will always come and find me even though he'll give me excuses like he has remedial and all those nonsense haha just to surprise me. <: 295) my favourite starbucks drink became his favourite and he drinks it exactly the way i do, with lotsa chocolate powder on the whipped cream <:

295) he still surprises me whenever he can (:

296) once, we went to the cafe. And got into a cab to go to valleypoint. Once he closed the door, he held my hand straight away and leaned on me. and said he missed me. [:

297) he told me that he always got very worried when i'm sick and he will always visit me when i'm sick. when i was running a fever, he would hold a wet towel in place on my forehead so that it wouldnt slip when i was sleeping. he would make me drink alot of water and make sure i dont eat things that i'm not supposed to. [:

298) he brings his camera out to take pictures of me. he likes taking photos of me and us. Basically he’s a camwhore HAHAHA kiddinggg.

299) the times we were walking down empty staircases in school and he’d give me a quick hug and said he missed me (:

300) he put this as my phone's start up message : hello pandhi! nicky loves you! (:

301) After the june holidays, we met almost every morning in the canteen or outside the hall and we’ll walk into the hall together. Sometimes when he gets to school damn early then he’ll wait in the LT. then when I get to school, he’ll come and sit with me with my class till its time for assembly <:

302) I like how I can make him laugh until he bangs the table and tear and starts hyperventilating hahaha.

303) I taught him the carebear spell like he must do it when he wants a cab HAHA. and the way he does it is damn cute (:

304)Everytime he gets upset with me, although he really has every reason to. I get upset that he’s upset with me and I’ll start being damn cold to him. instead of coaxing him, I become damn spiteful and mean. he ends up being the one who always turns up at my doorstep or being the first person I see when I wake up. And he’s always the one apologizing when it really isn’t his fault.

305)He likes to smell my hair and he always does it. haha. And he likes to touch my face and always says its damn smooth and that’s why he called me smoothie.

306)I’ve never initiated calling or messaging nicky. He’s the one who messages me every morning he wakes up and he’s the one calling me every night. And he’s the one always asking me to go out also. I know im damn bad.. Well but he’s cute cause when I told him that I’ll call him back in five and I don’t. he’ll call again and whine about why I took so long to call him back and stuff. Haha

307)All the times he kept telling me im pretty and beautiful although its not true.

308)We were both at home one night and he wanted to call. But I said we should go and bathe first and he came up with some smart ass idea to see who finishes bathing first and the person who finishes first will call the other one. so I placed my phone on the table and went to bathe. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw my phone on the floor.. cause nicky kept calling and my phone vibrated till it dropped on the floor.. and when I called him back he was like yay I win -_-“haha

309)When he changed my Bluetooth name to nicky’s girl and I changed it back to my name. hahaha.

310) Everytime we get on the escalator, nicky will stand on the lower step, turn around and hug me <:

311) The time when we played catching in the sunken gallery and saw pam running on the threadmill in the gym and we went to disturb her. And she pointed the middle finger at us. HAHA

312)he said like we have so little time together cause of school and all, he wants to treasure all the time he possibly can have with me.

313) I like to peel my nails and sometimes I peel too much and they bleed. And nicky bought me a nailclipper one day and insisted that I stop peeling my nails haha.

314) Everytime he sees anything that’ s a pig, and is cute, he’ll buy it for me. He bought me a pig correction tape before also haha.

315) I wanted the starbucks small expresso cup and he got it for me <:

316) I like how he likes to lean on my shoulder. When he does, he smiles very cutely (:

317) nicky bought me fizzy cola sweets and kept asking me to eat them. Haha when I opened the wrapper, I realized that the sweets were heart-shaped (:

318) When we talk on the phone, nicky always refused to hang up. He’ll insist that I hang up. In the end we’ll stay on the phone for much longer cause we’ll be like getting each other to hang up. Haha out of all the phone calls, I think like I only manage to convince him to hang up like 5% out of all the calls. Haha. Its really cute

319) When he wrote the lyrics of always be my baby to me not knowing its a break up song. Haha

320) Thanks for all the 12 letters, note hearts, straw hearts, serviette heart. Etc etc

321) There was some supplementary geog lecture but I didn’t want to go. Nicky kept trying to get me to go by saying that he’ll go with me. After much convincing I decided to go. He went with me. The lesson just started and I fell asleep. And nicky was copying the notes for me while I was sleeping. [:

322) When a’s was coming, I haven’t printed my lit notes yet HAHA. And nicky spent damn long in the library printing the notes for me and arranging everything and hole-punching everything for me [:

323) Nicky always wears the same AC shirt as I do. Like we’ll wear the seres shirt to school, his polo dragon tee, collegiates, thoburn shirt etc etc. I think its really sweet [: he’ll always ask me what im gonna wear and then he’ll wear the same. We also wore like white polo tee together before. Haha.

324) And nicky is damn cute, once after church michelle and Jeremy wanted to take us out for lunch. But I was like in love actually shirt and fbts. And nicky was dressed quite nicely cause he went to church. So he changed into the love actually shirt and barker shorts to be like me and we went to panpacific for lunch hahahah. [:

325) I bought nicky a green carebear! And he hangs it on his crumpler just like I do <: haha. although its rather gay but he’s really damn nice and cute to do that haha.

nicky: you dont carry the carebear anymore ):
me: its on the crumpler, and i never use what
nicky: ):
me: wahlao, where did the carebear come from huh!
nicky: (points to the sky)
me: -_-" idiot. i buy for you one then you say drop from the sky!
nicky: you're an angel what! my angel!
me: (stunned for a bit) huh i angel, then so?
nicky: cause you come from heaven so you give me carebear so carebear also come from heaven!
me: (stunned again) ORH. ha ha ha ha ha
nicky: idiot!
both of us: HAHAAHHAHA

326) When we combined our names and it became nickim and you kept using it [:

327) when he pushed me around in the trolley in cold storage. Haha

328) when we spun each other round and round in shopping malls.

329) When we go to toysrus and start playing with all the toys

330) The times he tuck my hair behind my ear

331) I like how he always always feed me (:

332) Whenever my food comes, nicky will always pick out all the veggies before I start eating [:

333) Whenever a toothpick is present, nicky will use it to pick out food stuck in my teeth. Haha. he always does that in front of his family. And they said we look like monkeys. HAHAHA

334) Nicky likes my nose and he always touches it and keeps saying its nice haha

335) When we just started out, we didn’t hang out much in school. we hung out with our own friends in the void deck. We don’t plan to go home together or anything. But when I leave, somehow he’ll just suddenly take his stuff and say bye to his friends and follow after me. Ahaha then suddenly he’ll catch up with me and I’ll be very surprised but happy haha and we’ll walk out of school together. haha.

336) He likes to twirl and ruffle my hair and plait my hair. I remember the times when he try to tie/plait my hair for me. Fail. Haha.

337) Times he send me home before he goes for driving. And come to my place later to find me. Haha. I’ll always wake up to him because my grandma will always open the door for him [:

338) He always uses his stuff to shelter me from the rain. and he’ll be the one getting wet.

339) We like to act angry and sad with each other and then see who can last longer. But I’ll always win cause he’ll always give in to me hahah

340) He hung the lgm keychain on his phone (:

341) I like how we sing together

342) when I laugh at him, he’ll show this really funny face. And he’ll pretend to want to hit me very hard but he’ll like tap my hand haha

343) He’ll wait for me to finish school even if he ends earlier to send me home/go out (: he’ll ask me if I want him to wait. And when I say no, he’ll say I’ll still wait for you. HAHA might as well not ask right. N: “I don’t mind waiting decades for you (:”

344) He always reads my blog haha. [:

345) The times when we doodle on each other’s hands and arms while studying haha

346) The time when we brought gambee out in the car hahaha.

347) He wrote the lyrics of With You by chris brown in one of the letters to me too [:

348) how he always hold my hand and sing when Built To Last and With You come on while he’s driving.

349) He Drove over to pick me at 2am for supper cause I said I was hungry <:

350) Everytime we meet, he’ll walk towards me, open up his arms and give me a big tight hug first before anything else. <:

351) When we go out, nicky always leaves his house damn early and reaches damn early cause he doesn’t want me to wait for him[:

352) When we cant decide where to go or what to eat, nicky will always suggest the things that I like (:

353) He buys me my favourite bubble tea

354) He tries the things I like. Like eating sambal stingray although he can’t take chilli, eating prata with curry haha

355)

nicky says:

hi kim. i love you.

nicky says:

(:

he typed this on the msn convo we were having and then he used his webcam to show me what he typed <:.

356) nicky says:

kisskiss

he used webcam to show me his lips haha.

357) he always waits for me to brush my teeth and be ready for bed and we’ll sleep at the same time (: once we were on the phone brushing our teeth together haha.

358) nicky always dint let me walk him to the bus stop from my house. there were a few times when i insisted on walking him. And when we reach the bus stop, he would be like "oh the bus is not here yet" and then he'll dragged me and walk me home. HAHA.

359) there was once we were both in the void deck and he was sitting with his class and i was with mine. and i sneezed. we were messaging so he told me that he heard my sneeze and it was very cute. haha and i was like what the, like that you also can hear. and he said "whats wrong! my ears are for you only" haha. and I was laughing at him doing some retarded face . N: “Glad i could make you laugh even from so far away. Haha! Feels really nice. Haha.”

360) nicky messages me every morning he wakes up! and throughout the day. even when his teacher caught him messaging and warned him, he'd still message me. haha. and his messages are always sweeter than sugar I’ll smile like an idiot in class haha. and my classmates will just think im a retard haha.

361) everytime we take photos, like I’ll make retarded faces. Then the next picture, nicky will copy the face I made in the previous photo. Haha its damn funny to look at them.

362) Nicky’s mum will always make us go for events with her. Haha. like to the animal farm, to collect the car, shopping etc. haha. but I enjoy spending time with her cause she’s very nice and cute like her son. Haha

363) Nicky always stays up or stays out with me till damn late even though he’s freak tired. Haha

364) Once, he told me that he loves my mum cause in order to love me, he must love my mum HAHA. and he asks “so do you love my mum?” HAHA

365) When I wear my white havis, he’ll wear your silver one. usually, we’ll wear the blue one together <:

366) He typed LOVE in a very special way on his GC and showed me haha.

367) When I get upset, sometimes I wouldn’t say, I’ll just be damn cold to him. then I’ll make him damn sad. He’ll always keep asking till I tell him and even when I brush the problem aside, he’ll bring it up again to make sure we solve it and leave nothing hanging (:

368) He’ll always be very happy when he sees me, his messages will be like “yay I saw you!” “so happy I got to see you” if not, it’ll be like “I didn’t get to see you ):” “I walk past you but you never look at me lor ):” haha

369) He’ll bring jacket for me when we go out in case I feel cold.

370) He’ll come and see me for awhile in between his lessons or short breaks (:

371) He gets worried about my lesbian tendencies haha. and he’ll always tell me not to like other girls and says that he feels threatened by other girls and that I’ll easily be stolen by other girls haha. he also told me to stay away from lesbians HAHA.

372) He’s damn lame too :

Me: what are you doing?

Nicky: “Working on chemistry. Haha. Between us. Haha!”

373) He wont sleep till im gonna sleep and he’ll always wait up for me, and always wait until I’ve brushed me teeth and ready to go to bed before he’ll head off to bed also. I remember once we were brushing our teeth while on the phone haha damn retarded. Even though he was always damn tired but he’ll still wait for me.
374) we play badminton and pingpong. HAHA


375) he planned for my 19th birthday surprise 2 months in advance. he messaged my friends and collaborated with them and bought tickets for myself and 5 other friends for the Lady GaGa concert(just cause i randomly said that i want to go for the concert) he's really cute and sweet to plan this surprise and to include my friends (: even though he knew he wasnt able to go cause he'd be in camp. <: haha so sneaky but really super sweet (:

376) his great art pieces haha

notice the pandhi on the right has a N on his forehead? (:

-

this post is really damn long right. Haha but im damn sure I left out a lot of stuff. And i only included like a bit of the messages and the msn convos. Well, but its enough already I guess. Haha.

Although nicky and I broke up, we are friends. And I’m glad for that. He was the nicest person ever to me in my whole life and it would be sad to lose such a nice friend like him. I’m glad that he’s doing well and that he’s happy.

I really want to thank him for the 19 months we’ve had. Countless memories. I bet I left out a lot more things in this longest essay ever. But yeah, I’m just glad I’m typing all this out before things slip out of my mind. Cause I’d really hate to not remember all these stuff as I grow old. Cause nicky was such a huge and special part of my life and I want all these memories to be kept alive. And obviously they cant be kept alive in my brain, so they can be kept alive on this blog! Haha. While typing, I realize once again how much nicky loved me. And im honestly really thankful to have had him, and his love. I was really lucky I must say. Doubt anyone can or will ever love me like he did. I wonder what did I ever do to deserve him. He’s way too wonderful.

Some people have asked me what does nicky mean to me now and etc. I guess he’ll always be special, and “we” will always be special to me. Although we aren’t close friends or anything, we don’t hang/talk etc. but I know that if I ever need help or anything, he’ll be there. He’s a really great person and I really hope that his girlfriend/future girlfriend will treasure him and treat him right and not be an asshole like me. He’s probably the best catch ever seriously. Haha. he’s so damn perfect you know? Haha. starting from physical attributes, he’s tall, cute, goodlooking, has deep dimples, has quite a nice build, has a sweet smile, etc. he’s national waterpolo player all, star killer polo player you know haha. and he’s smart, sweet, loving, charming, humourous, quite innocent, full-of-shit HAHA, filial, gentle, sensitive, nice, honest, trustworthy, dependable, helpful, kind-hearted, caring, doesn’t have a temper(will never hit you/scold you), ETC. HAHAH. See he’s awesome man. I’m like promoting him. Haha.

Although I broke up with nicky cause he lied, I never thought that why he lied was entirely his fault. There are things that I don’t do and never did that probably caused him to lie. So I really don’t think its entirely his fault.

and i want to apologize for all the mean things i've done and said and for the many times i've hurt him and made him sad. i really suck haha. but as much as i didnt treat nicky right, i really did love him.

hopefully one day, we can be good friends like we used to be. A nice friend like him isn’t easy to come by, really.

Many kept telling me that “I really thought yall would last”

That’s what I thought too. But I guess army really changed our relationship too much.

Its really a pity and a waste that we came to an end. But like you said ”the happy moments, the sad moments, everything. i'll always remember you cause you've been such a big part of my life. all these memories, I’ll remember”

You told me you thought of waiting for me. But I guess, its never possible between us again.

I started out with this photo of us, and I’ll end this with the same photo




I really wish you well and all the best for everything that is to come [:


; I dont want to wake up one day and not remember what time erased